# girlfriend or fish?



## fishdude1984 (Feb 17, 2005)

hello everyone out there, i thought id tell you all something funny, i was my girlfriend the other day and we where looking at fish tanks in a book, so she said i was too obsessed and thought that i spent more time with my fish than her, well she said it was over with us, isn't that great fish are my girlfriend, i chose fish!


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## Aussie_star (Jan 7, 2005)

lol same thing happen to my mate, but im lucky my gf loves my tanks, always asking me stuff on them. Just cant wait till i get my tank running alot better then atm.


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## MaryPa (Aug 14, 2005)

Dude your fish is your hobby,that`s part of who you are. If a person is to be with you they should have the same interest or at least encourage you in your hobby. 
Hey there`s more girls everywhere but a good tank set up is hard to come by


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## Sir_BlackhOle (Jan 25, 2004)

Im lucky enough to have a gf that is just as much into this stuff as me!


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## gnatster (Mar 6, 2004)

Many times the first time I have a woman over to the house and they see 17+ tanks thats the last time I hear from them. Their loss.


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## fishmaster#1 (Apr 10, 2005)

I wish I could say I didn't know what you were going thru,but I know exactly.
Every date I take home she leaves in 5 minutes when she sees all to tanks, bottles, and equipment that goes along with it. Then again it could be that I don't have a couch or furniture. Where are all the nature freaks at? Maybe I should import a girlfriend. LOL


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## plantbrain (Jan 23, 2004)

If the tanks and the place looks nice, they will stay
The males of our species must impress the females to some degree
They do the same in otherways to us.

She sounded a bit too needy if what she was saying was true.
A good partner is one that will share your insterest and be involved.
Some might be not that interested but still be okay with it, some might get into it more than you.

I've seen all of these cases occur.

I keep my gals away from the hobby as long as possible. I never take them to a LFS etc. They have to be interested and curious.

She knows I'm not that excited about watching her put 12 different outfits either even though I know she likes it. 
But I'm not going to break up with her over it either..............

Regards, 
Tom Barr


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## dennis (Mar 1, 2004)

My gal reciently asked me "Baby, could you put some plants in my tank?" 

Marry me!


(actually we are engaged although not over a fish tank) She is "proud" of my interest and dedication to the hobby although not all that interested in it herself. She likes the end product though and encourages me with every looming contest. For someone not really interested in it, she spent 6 hours helping me do a demo for a LFS. Now that's love! You don't have to share all the same interest but you do have to support each other's at the same time.

Opps, got to run


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## turtlehead (Nov 27, 2004)

My girlfriend just lets me play around with my tanks, she doesn't care for them much. Just a glance here and there.


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## JoyfulGirl (Nov 19, 2004)

*had to pipe up*

I don't think that women are necessarily driven away by the hobby being fish, or aquariums, or aquascapes. I think it can be difficult to deal with anyone who has an all consuming hobby. If it's to the extent that you have aquariums in every room but no where to sit other than the floor... It says something about your priorities and if it's likely that your priorities won't match up well with theirs. It's a smart move for all involved that they don't come back. 
Many people make it through their entire life having only casual interests and passions. It's usually alot easier to get along with them. They don't have something that motivates them and drives them, it can be far easier to make compromises with them. 
I'm pretty obsessed with my aquariums and a few other things. My boyfriend has very different interests. It can be hard to compromise about how to spend time or why in god's green earth would he spend 4 grand on a mountain bike then look at me like I'm a maniac when I say I want automated CO2. I can see compromise becoming even more difficult if we were to ever get married. I'd want an aquarium, He'd want a couch.  He'd want a new kayak. I'd want a couch. We'd end up with aquariums we could kayak in and no couch probably.

Guess I'm just thinking that usually the more interested in the world around them, the more passionate and the more obsessed with ANYTHING the harder it can be to make it through life with someone as friends let alone significant others. I figure the payoff is that.. well, I get a passionate, spirited person who cares about things. It's worth it to me. I wouldn't want it any other way, even when he's maddening. It's worth it to my boyfriend to be with me even if he thinks I'm nuts and he doesn't understand. I have to empathise with the women a bit though. I just don't think it's as cut and dry as fish versus women  It's really a major lifestyle question and about priorities. 
Gotta say though, if they aren't willing to support you in what makes you happy if you're willing to return the favour you're better off without them, anyone like that 

now if only he'd realize I'm a girlie girl too and that women can't live on light timers, new fish, and geeky presents alone and need flowers occasionally too. Sometimes they can support your addictions TOO much.


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## Piscesgirl (Feb 25, 2004)

Maybe Art can set up a 'singles' forum, lol, for single fish/planted tank keepers! hehe. However, I don't know why someone would actually want to have to share their time with another person when they can spend it on their tanks :wink:


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## Phil Edwards (Jan 22, 2004)

On the flip side, I'm passionate about aquariums and my wife wasn't until recently passionate about anything at all. That made it really hard on us because she couldn't understand how I could enjoy something so much and spend all that time doing it. She supports my passion and always has, but it's been a struggle with her at times. Now, she's found a hobby of her own (bead jewelry) and even decided to start up a fish tank of her own. Planted of course!


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## Paul Higashikawa (Mar 18, 2004)

I guess I am pretty lucky. My girlfriend likes the fish part of the aquarium. I like the plant part of the aquarium. So, in this way we complement each other very well I used to like fish, but that's another story; all history now Slowly, though, she is beginning to understand and appreciate the importance of having a planted tank; its many benefits, including making the fish more healthy. 


PS:Maybe having a planted folks single mingle cafe isn't sucha bad idea^^! Hey, after spending all those grueling and grunting hours into making our tanks beautiful we deserve to have the chance to meet more people!


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## Happy Camper (Jul 22, 2004)

Interesting thread :0

Imagine this: You have a fight with GF. Girlfriend takes heavy object and smashes your 1 year old planted 3ft tank, all over the lounge floor. Needless to say I was devastated. Thats alot of hard work lying all over the room. Gravel, bits of broken glass and dead fish everywhere!!!!!! 

And just to prove how utterly crazy love really is, I'm still with her!!!!!!!!!!!
So as one of the other posters mentioned that his GF thinks his tanks get more attention, get out now, don't even bother looking back.

FWIW, I replaced the tank and restarted the aquascape and thanks to help from Mr. Barr things are looking better than ever. The GF and I are still on a rocky road so the love scaping is still needing some work 

Life can be quite colourful at times JA?


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## dom (Apr 28, 2004)

My gf was given 2 choices by me. First, I keep all the money. I might get rich and i will end up fooling around and changing gf all the time. Second, I spend part of my money into my hobby. And the hobby will keep me away from other hot chicks. You won't worry can't locate me or don't know what i am doing. Because I am just getting myself busy with my aquariums at home or in lfs.

Myself having the 10 aquariums from 6 footer to 8inch nano. But it keeping them nicely. At least making the place clean. Girls will like.....


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## fishdude1984 (Feb 17, 2005)

see i think with the girl i was with maybe our diffrances wernt as cut and dry as tanks, ive jot a stedy job and lots of tanks but her, shes just starting school agein for the year and a new job and moving out, so things are busy for her and not me, i think that (hopefully) in time things can work themseves out and we could start it up agien, but ya, my fish and plants are my hobby and a big part of me and if she cant understand that than this maybe for the best,. im still young and so is she, just as long as she dosent have a new boyfriend in a week things will be ok


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## fishdude1984 (Feb 17, 2005)

oh ya, a singles fourm might be kinda cool


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## MatPat (Mar 22, 2004)

No GF here, I'm in a similar situation to Phil. She is supportive but not into aquariums or planted tanks. The wife just took up quilting so I don't get as much grief over the time I spend on my tanks now.

The singles forum may be a good idea for some of you. Even though my wife is not interested in aquaria, I bet she would prefer that I get a new tank versus getting a girlfriend


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## Sweet Violet (Aug 8, 2005)

Happy Camper said:


> Interesting thread :0
> 
> Imagine this: You have a fight with GF. Girlfriend takes heavy object and smashes your 1 year old planted 3ft tank, all over the lounge floor. Needless to say I was devastated. Thats alot of hard work lying all over the room. Gravel, bits of broken glass and dead fish everywhere!!!!!!


This conjured up some terrible past memories~ It's been 18 years ago and I still remember it vividly. I had a very nice pair of breeding angels and they had produced my first batch of live fry. They were in the free swimming stage. "HE" (my ex husband) stepped out on me and I found out & he shattered my tank. Go figure?? I remember being down on my hands & knees in tears trying to help the fry. A moot point.

Fast forward 18 years.....

The good news is I am very happily married to the most wonderful man in the world and we are planning on adding an addition to our house w/ a VERY supportive floor.... hint hint  stay tuned.

Hang in there men & women..... it can happen~


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## Happy Camper (Jul 22, 2004)

Sweet Violet said:


> The good news is I am very happily married to the most wonderful man in the world and we are planning on adding an addition to our house w/ a VERY supportive floor.... hint hint  stay tuned


Good to hear that all is well 

Kindest Regards
Cameron


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## Sweet Violet (Aug 8, 2005)

Happy Camper said:


> Good to hear that all is well
> 
> Kindest Regards
> Cameron


Just looked at your tanks~! Very good job~!


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## JanS (Apr 14, 2004)

Oh my, you guys have some horror stories.... :shock: If someone as much as touched one of my tanks, you'd see the rage no person could think a little Finnish person can have.  Even though I'm only 5'1", they'd probably wind up being tossed out in the driveway on their you know what.

As far as I'm concerned, when you go into a relationship, you have to accept the way the person is when you meet them (with any hobby, or trait, not just fish). If someone tries to change who you are, it's only a recipe for disaster down the road.


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## fishmaster#1 (Apr 10, 2005)

I wish people could just accept others the way they are without trying to change or hurt the other because they will not change. I am a package deal Not only will a woman get me but my plants and fish come with too. I am not going to change that for the most attractive woman in the world. I chose my love of nature over any woman. To yourself be true always. Best wishes TOM


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## david lim (Mar 30, 2004)

On a note with tom, although my fiancee might not understand or, at times, agree with the amount of time or money I put into my hobby she will never argue or try to change my views about aquascaping. And, although, I would never let anything interfere with our relationship, my fiancee and I always support eachother especially when it's something we love to do. Maybe that's a reason why I love her so much. Although it would be nice I don't expect her to come with me to all of the aquascaping functions and vice versa she never expects me to stop going. :0)


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