# A Little Levity



## vic46 (Oct 20, 2006)

One day, a man came home and was greeted
by his wife dressed in a very Sexy nightie. "Tie me up," she purred,
"and you can do anything you want." So he tied her up and went golfing.



A woman came home, screeching her car
into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and
shouted at the top of her lungs, "Honey, pack your bags. I won the
lottery!"
The husband said, "Oh my God! What
should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?" "Doesn't matter," she
said. "Just get out."




Marriage is a relationship in which one
person is always right, and the other is a husband.




A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to
apply for a driver's license. First, of course, he had to take an eye
sight test The optician showed him a card with the letters 

'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.' "Can you
read this?" the optician asked. "Read it?" the Polish guy replied, "I
know the guy."



Mother Superior called all the nuns
together and said to them, "I must tell you all something. We have a
case of gonorrhea in the convent." "Thank God," said an elderly nun at
the back. "I'm so tired of chardonay."





A wife was making a breakfast of fried
eggs for her husband.
Suddenly, her husband burst into the
kitchen. "Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in s ome more butter! Oh my
GOD!
You're cooking too many at once. TOO
MANY! Turn them! TURN
THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my
GOD! WHERE are
we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're
going to STICK!
Careful . CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL!
You NEVER listen
to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn
them! Hurry up! A re you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to
salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt.
USE THE SALT! THE SALT!" The wife stared
at him. "What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how
to fry a couple of eggs?" The husband calmly replied, "I just wanted to
show you what it feels like when I'm driving."



Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a
North Carolina mountain man, was drafted by the Army. On his first day
in basic training, the Army issued him a comb. That afternoon the Army
barber sheared off all his hair. On his second day, the Army issued
Herman a toothbrush. That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his
teeth. On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap. The Army has
been looking for Herman for 51 years.


Vic


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## cs_gardener (Apr 28, 2006)

Those are great! They had me laughing and I really needed that. Thanks for sharing!


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