# Stupid Human Tricks...



## taekwondodo (Dec 14, 2005)

So, for the last 8 months, I've been going to TaeKwonDo training for my 2nd degree belt (tested, and passed, early last month). This consists of lots of jumping, spinning, kicking, etc.. no injuries, etc. though this whole cycle...

I also sky dive whenever I can (And as much as I can afford).

So I live a high-impact life (aquatic plants/fish are about the only thing I do on the other end of the spectrum).

So, Saturday, I'm doing video for a tandem skydive - go to 14K', get out, fly with the tandem for 70 seconds at 120mph straight down, open at 3K - nice ride down from there. Land safely.

Pick-up my gear, start walking across the tarmac to the van... and trip on a rock the size of a quarter.










This was two days ago - now the whole foot is this gorgeous color of blue (all the way down to the toes).


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## Jessie (Apr 23, 2007)

Oh no! I've done the same. Actually, I sneeze and my legs bruise.

I skydive too! Actually, I've only been once so far but have plans for a summer 08 jump. It's...well, amazing.

My favorite stupid human trick of my own was when I decided it would be a great idea to cut open the cellophane wrapping on a new DVD with a 8" Roman dagger. Holding the box like a moron, I skid the blade right across the DVD box and into the side of my thumb. Not only did the emergency room think I was intentionally harming myself and calling psychiatrists, but they were also calling security because they believed the guy I was dating at the time and who drove me to the ER wounded me in a domestic dispute.

After laughing it off and getting stitched up, I managed to BARELY miss my tendons and larger blood vessels. The scar is pretty cool too!

Hope your foot heals up ok -- if only I could get some of my plants to turn that color!


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## lampeye (Oct 29, 2007)

Jessie said:


> My favorite stupid human trick of my own was when I decided it would be a great idea to cut open the cellophane wrapping on a new DVD with a 8" Roman dagger. Holding the box like a moron, I skid the blade right across the DVD box and into the side of my thumb. Not only did the emergency room think I was intentionally harming myself and calling psychiatrists, but they were also calling security because they believed the guy I was dating at the time and who drove me to the ER wounded me in a domestic dispute.


*calls social services*

KIDDING.


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## BryceM (Nov 6, 2005)

taekwondodo said:


> ... and trip on a rock the size of a quarter.


Isn't that always the way?

From your photo there is quite a bit of swelling. This orthopedic surgeon's advice would be to get x-rays (unless you've already done it). It's probably just a sprain, but being wrong sucks.


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## Squawkbert (Jan 3, 2007)

Owwwwwww!

My daughter's foot looked like that - once when she sprained it, then again when she suffered an evulsion fracture (sp?). That little rock won't let you totally forget about it for at least a year.


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## HeyPK (Jan 23, 2004)

Probably my most stupid human trick was when I got my pocket knife razor sharp on a hard Arkansas oil stone, I deeply cut my thumb wiping the oil off the knife. Then, when I tried to wipe the blood off the knife, I cut my thumb again! :yo:


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## taekwondodo (Dec 14, 2005)

guaiac_boy said:


> Isn't that always the way?
> 
> From your photo there is quite a bit of swelling. This orthopedic surgeon's advice would be to get x-rays (unless you've already done it). It's probably just a sprain, but being wrong sucks.


I went into the Dr on Wednesday last week - Nothing broken, but a very severe sprain - along with pitting edima (pooling blood in the foot). I got the "jolt" (electro-stim + ice) treatment... He then proceeded to use his thumbs and push hard enough throughout my foot and ankle to make a grown man scream in pain - to reduce the swelling. That lasted about 10 minutes, and people in the office most likely thought someone was dying in the back room. Pure tourture.

No skydiving, no yoga, no taekwondo for at least 2 more weeks, and continued therapy at least for another 4 weeks (yes, more screaming from the back of the Drs office). Oh well, gives me time to finish building my stand/hood for my new 125... 

Along the lines of other stupid stuff (while we are talking about limb removal with sharp protruding objects, Jessie  )... I once used a pair of scissors, fully-opened in the x position, holding onto the middle of the "x", to use the sharp end to poke a hole in something I was holding with my left hand... and lost 1/4" of the top of my left thumb when it slipped out of the hole I was punching. Damn things were sharp (but no calls or visits from Social Services were involved ).

- Jeff


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## taekwondodo (Dec 14, 2005)

HeyPK said:


> Probably my most stupid human trick was when I got my pocket knife razor sharp on a hard Arkansas oil stone, I deeply cut my thumb wiping the oil off the knife. Then, when I tried to wipe the blood off the knife, I cut my thumb again! :yo:


lol...

Here's your sign...

(I'm wearing mine right now...)

NEXT!

- Jeff


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## Jessie (Apr 23, 2007)

LOL Lampeye!

I call it my "victorious bar fight" scar. You know how that goes.

I have another scar on the same arm that looks exactly like a cigarette burn. (I must really have some angst, cutting myself, burning myself...) I was, like an impatient doofus, saddling up one of my horses for an evening ride and he, being hungry and barn sour, bit me right on my forearm. A perfect little circle pinch, and I socked him in the face, bruising my knuckles from hitting his jaw. So I had a hole in my left arm and swollen bruised knuckles on my right. He learned very quickly not to bite Jessie because she bites back. 

Another horse incident... when I was probably 8 or 9, I approached my oldest horse who had his head down in a trough eating. He didn't see me approach and I stupidly didn't announce my presence to him. I go to touch his side and POW! ninja-side-kick to my right thigh, launching me about 5 feet backwards into a scrub-oak bush. My mom's worried that my femur was broken, I've got prickly scrub oak scratching me all over the place and in my eyes, screaming bloody murder. Luckily, the only thing that resulted was a black and blue thigh for about 3 weeks.

Oh, and Parker (the ninja horse) came over to me on the ground after kicking me and nuzzled me with a huge "ooops, sorry" face


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## Beasts (Apr 14, 2006)

So, there I was filling in for the regular keeper and taking care of the gorillas for a day. I was asked to see if I could find out what was wrong with Magube's hand - she was holding it closed and wouldn't let anyone see it. I kept pointing at her hand and then holding mine out, opened. To this day I don't know whether I am that slow or she was that fast but she reached out, grabbed my hand with her thumb and forefinger and there was no way I could pull away. She then proceeded to bite my hand, showing me what was wrong with hers. Not exactly what I had in mind but effective. 
I don't believe I have ever screamed quite so loudly, not before or since. Not because of what she did but because of what she could have done. I would have been powerless to stop her! The damage she caused was minor. Every time she has seen me since she has turned her head as soon as she recognized me. I'm sure she feels bad because of what she did.
Beasts


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## BryceM (Nov 6, 2005)

Beasts.........

You actually put your hand in a gorilla cage? On purpose? Are you crazy? Have you seen the arms on those things?

Here's your sign!


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## Jessie (Apr 23, 2007)

I gotta say, Beasts, that's really awesome. Minus the whole biting almost losing your hand aspect.


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## Beasts (Apr 14, 2006)

guaiac boy,
My arm was not on the inside of the cage - I'm a little slow but not quite stupid. :heh: That's what I meant about her being really fast. And the grip of just her thumb and forefinger was incredible! Max, her mate had a habit of running around the enclosure and throwing a forearm into one of the solid iron doors. One day, with the gorillas safely locked away in another part of the cage, I threw one of my best front kicks (I used to do that karate thing too) at the same door. When Max casually slipped in a forearm the whole room shook. My best effort resulted in a dull thump! Of course he did have a bit of a weight advantage on me (400 lb vs. 180 lb), but their power to weight ratio is incredible - a trait common to wild animals. You should see me strain when I handle my 16 foot reticulated python.
Beasts


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## Beasts (Apr 14, 2006)

Jessie said:


> I gotta say, Beasts, that's really awesome. Minus the whole biting almost losing your hand aspect.


And I don't blame Magube at all. It was my fault for not staying back just a little bit further and for not considering the different possible interpretations of my request. Strangely enough none of my run ins with critters over the years have lessened my interest in sharing their lives.
Beasts


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## DonaldmBoyer (Aug 18, 2005)

Back in my "goth" days, my friend and I would go to City Club in Detroit, get slammed drunk, and put cigarettes out on each other's elbow areas. I have scars on my elbow in the shape of a "smiley face." AKA: ""

Way back in high school, an upper-classman wanted to impress some girl in the stands watching us, so he did his first flip-turn extra fast, misjudged the distance to the wall, and smashed his heels so hard that they split open. So, he was swimming the 200 freestyle (8 lengths of the pool) with a trail of blood from his heels! Needless to say, we were rolling on the ground laughing!


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## Jessie (Apr 23, 2007)

Goth days. This explains everything!


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## puttyman70 (Aug 7, 2007)

Took a short fall on to the rope while rock climbing. As the rope is catching me about 20 feet off the ground I hear a ripping sound. Nope not the rope. My shorts hung a tree branch as I was falling and it ripped the back end out of my shorts. Needless to say everyone had a good laugh. I actually had to be lowered to the ground, I was laughing so hard I couldn't continue for a few minutes. My belayer, the guy holding the other end of the rope, needed a minute as well.

A couple miles from the car with no shorts was good for another laugh.


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## fishscale (Jul 25, 2007)

I once broke my arm and had to reset it 4 days after the first treatment...no painkillers. Looks like a pretty nice sprain there, I've had many from being a clumsy oaf. Also, I once had really bad calcification from a hit during football.


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## gibmaker (Jan 3, 2007)

My foot looked like that when I broke my ankle skateboarding. Another time my foot looked like that when I broke my ankle snowboarding. (the same foot I might add)


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