# The Hillbilly Homebrew Hour



## intothenew

Well, maybe I lied just a little. This is certainly going to take more than an hour, it may best be described as a series. Welcome to this weeks episode.

To set things up, I have been without a tank for almost twenty years. College, raising three children, a couple of residence changes, and a change in career helped keep me busy. But in the last two years, I have acquired and set up two tanks. One, a 29g at home. And two, a 55g in my office. Both are/were planted. The 55 still stands in my office, but I put the 29 up for adoption. That brings us to the real subject of this thread.

You see Martha(who has some strange affinity for me) agreed, in what she certainly looks back on as a temporary lapse of sanity, to allow a larger tank in the house. "You can have it if it will fit right there", she said. I dwelled on the possibilities for a few days, and decided that "Ol Monday" and I could transform our allotted space into 125g of pure paradise.

Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to introduce you to Ol Monday.










We used to have an intimate relationship, but not so much anymore. I divorced her for a pencil shortly after college. We still have a friendly relationship, and she agrees to help with demolition and a small amount of construction.

In what I thought was an impressive strategical move, I begin while Martha was away at a baby shower. I'll have this roughed out and she will be able to better understand the big scheme of things much better when she returns. Well, we had a few delays during this phase, my pencil boy biceps not being the least.

I get the paneling down.










And I put Ol Monday to work on this barrier between us and the glory of 125g of pure paradise. Martha walks in to find this.










And with a notable quiver in her voice exclaims, "Oh my God, what have you done to my house?"


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## Tex Gal

Poor Martha! I think you should send Martha on a pleasure trip with some of her friends to some great place. Finish all the dirty work while she is gone. Send her photo updates ONLY as things get better. Tell her how much you love her, how amazingly terrific she is and how unlike she is to many of the tyrannical wives you read about on the forum. With that and the house new and improved AND MOST IMPORTANTLY all the things on her "Honey Do" list completed as well - the renewed honeymoon will commence! 

I will stay tuned! LOL


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## Chris Noto

I made my living, one summer during college, with a cousin of "Old Monday". The job was in an area of Fort Lauderdale that was being redeveloped. We went in with sledge hammers to bust out anything worth reselling, such as doors, windows, toilets, plumbing... Great fun!


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## niko

That's so funny so far, keep it going!

--Nikolay


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## mulita

This is going to be thread to follow up for sure.  I´m in.


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## intothenew

Tex Gal said:


> I think you should send Martha on a pleasure trip


Although Martha did enjoy the thought of your suggestion, it's duty before pleasure. She IS the excecutive department in this province, and with that power has appointed herself "Chief Environmental Engineer" and "Quality Assurance Manager". It's a bit hard sometimes for me to understand some of these excutive orders but, if I understand it correctly, she's not leaving me here alone with her nest and this mess.



Chris Noto said:


> Great fun!


Well, kinda, I look back on it as a motivator.



niko said:


> keep it going


I'm working on the next episode,is it:

Martha morphs to the "White Tornado"
or
"The Hangin' Judge"



mulita said:


> I´m in.


Thanks, I hope you enjoy the ride.


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## JERP

Cinderblock usually isn't used indoors unless..

Was that a load bearing basement wall?


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## intothenew

JERP said:


> Cinderblock usually isn't used indoors unless..


I don't want to give away too much, but there is a 6" H beam in the plot to come.


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## niko

I was afraid to hope but maybe my wildest dreams of a 6" H beam being part of this saga maybe materializing...

What is a "6" H beam"? But more importantly than a definition - is it something that will have a profound effect on the events in the next episode?

--Nikolay


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## Tex Gal

Loving your sense of humor.... won't miss your next "reality episode"


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## brion0

Looks like fun.


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## intothenew

brion0 said:


> Looks like fun.


Sssssshhhh, don't let Martha hear you say that. I totally agree with you but, I have her convinced that this is hard work. It's my own take on Bowerbird theory.


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## intothenew

*Artsy Fartsy*

Today we offer a special edition of HHH entitled "The Artsy Fartsy Moment".

We have for years relied on the premise that the only thing you design from the top down is a building. Today we are here to dispel those beliefs. Function should follow form in planted aquariums. So we bring in a jug of corn squeezins, that way everybody will show, and we allow them to doodle for the evening. Below is the result.










There is a special prize being offered by today's sponsor for the first poster to identify the fish drawn by Martha.

The mechanical department of course is off in a corner drinking beer and has to have their own drawing, which appears to have nothing to do with the subject at hand by everyone else.










And the abstract senses of the Artsy Fartsy department begin to transform the corn squeezin' drawing into something..........well, something.










They are by now off to their selves drinking wine and drop this on the floor.










After a brief interruption for cheese, they submit the following master draft to mechanical.










As the evenings festivities wind down, I over hear the chief mechanic saying something about the top view being the side view, and the bottom view being the top view. He walks off in apparent disdain. But, he'll be back, he just loves this stuff.


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## intothenew

*I had a Dream​*
I had a dream of this elegant stage attached to a manifold. It is comprised of two like uv sterilizers attached in parallel as mirror images of each other. It has three personalities, bypass, flow to only one, or flow to both.

Bypass:

For those lighter times, to protect those beautiful micros

Single:

The moat defending against lower forms of flora

Dual:

The toaster

But as with many dreams, it is not all pearling and 6500k. Just before I awake, I am standing before a wall of manufactures data charts. I am looking through Mississippi water trying to evaluate the numbers.

I now pour a cup of coffee, and try a moment of reality.

Plumbing:

One programmable valve on supply to one sterilizer only. With the valve open we get flow to both, and with the valve closed we get flow to only one.

Electrical:

Programmable switch to each sterilizer.

Therefore;

Both switches off and valve open allows the lighter day mode. We at least keep intermittent flow to both and thwart stale water.

Switch to the unrestricted sterilizer on and valve closed yields the anti green water mode.

Both switches on and the valve open, I can hear the screams as they burn in..........

Now back to the muddy water part that woke me up. There is roughly a 3X difference in intensity recommended between anti-green and kill-em-all. This system as stated obviously only allows for 2X. But, the intensity recommendations vary by 2X.

Is there a "sweet spot" in this somewhere? Denizens of the germicidal spectrum, masters of below the blue, What say ye?

This makes me hungry, Apple butter on toast anyone?


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## JERP

dunno about your actual question, but I do have some feedback.

I recommend against having a UV always connected just in case. Make a space for the UV in your setup and either have quick disconnects from the to the UV, or bypass and drain on the UV. You don't want the UV connected at all times for two reasons. The bulb will eventually get covered in slime and end up mostly useless by the time you need it. You will also have a a nice chunk of stagnant water in the UV that's been anaerobic since... well you get the idea.

I plumbed my system so I can plumb in a UV when I need it without getting wet, but the UV itself lives in a box in the garage. It stays dry so there's no sludge build up.


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## Tex Gal

My UV is hooked up all the time. My water flows through the UV so it doesn't have any stagnant water. I use it 24/7. I did disconnect it after several months to re-plumb my set up and there was no slime/sludge whatsoever, even after a horrid Amazonia 2 melt down. That has been my experience. I want it to kill all the bacteria in my tank. The nutrifying bacteria live on the surface of things so whatever may end up in the water column is not needed/minimal. I also run it on a separate pump from my filters.


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## intothenew

Thanks Jerp, and point well taken.

You can purchase a sterilizer with an internal wiper. Check this out.

I would certainly run flow through a minimum of 10 hours per day, would you have concerns with stagnation at that duty cycle?


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## intothenew

Tex Gal said:


> My UV is hooked up all the time.


Can you give me a model number and the approximate gph of flow you push?

Do you dose micros? And if yes, at what frequency?


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## PRJCT92EH2

subscribed!


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## JERP

Intothenew,
I was more concerned that the UV would be hooked up 24/7, but only running two or three days a year. I've seen the built in squeegee. I've never used it but it looks like a good model for full time usage. I like the look of the submariner for spot treatment. It's an in-tank model that looks like a submersible filter. It's essentially a combination powerhead/UV with a prefilter sponge.

http://www.jbjlighting.com/prod_submariner.html

TexasGal,
If you're running the UV 24/7 you need to clean it regularly. The bulb will develop a very thin coat of grime after a couple months. This this thin film will tremendously degrade the performance of the UV. Aquarium slime has a high SPF, try it at the beach someday.

Note that a UV sterilizer is essentially a fluorescent bulb that emits light in the UV range. Being a fluorescent bulb, the UV bulb should be replaced every 6-12 months as the bulb will rapidly degrade in effectiveness after this time. Some mfgr's will list the actual effective life in hours, such as 8000 hours.


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## Tex Gal

Jerp - I have looked at the glass in my UV after months and there was no slime. I don't know what to tell you. I was surprised myself. Perhaps it's the heat?...

I run in and the CO2 reactor in line with a mag drive 9.5 which pushes 950gph. It's under the tank so that limits it some and there are right degree turns which also cuts down on the 950gph. My UV is an Emperor Aquatics 25 watt smart UV Sterilizer. I got it from FishtTanksDirect.com. That was a year ago. Seems to still be working fine. I wonder if it's time for a new bulb, since it's a fluorescent? Here is the link: http://www.fishtanksdirect.com/index.asp?PageAction=VIEWCATS&Category=245


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## intothenew

This is good, this is real good. First, JERP makes a funny. In this particular instance, I am ecstatic that pics were withheld.



JERP said:


> Aquarium slime has a high SPF, try it at the beach someday.


Then, Tex Gal lays a chart on me.










It just doesn't get any better than this. I've got some cipherin' to do before I respond, after I clean up my keyboard.


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## niko

I may have to switch to aquarium slime.

Keep it going!


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## Bert H

You know I passed by this title twice before I clicked on it. I should have clicked on it the first time I saw it.  I'm in!


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## MasterMerlin

With a title like this, I just had to stop by. After the read I'm definitely in for the ride!!! 

Well since no one else has posed a guess at the fish, I'll throw out the obvious. Is the fish Nemo? Sorry couldn't resist the obvious. Can I guess more than once?


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## intothenew

niko said:


> I may have to switch to aquarium slime.


Where do you shop for two different cup sizes?


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## intothenew

Bert H said:


> You know I passed by this title twice before I clicked on it. I should have clicked on it the first time I saw it.  I'm in!


I'm glad you joined us. Other possible titles were:

"Martha does APC", We thought that one a bit racy for a family show.

"The High Tech ******* Hour", Sounded and smelled too much like a "Gunsmoke and Horsepoop" song.

"The Adventures of a Deranged Lunatic", A bit too honest, we're trying to be somewhat subliminal.


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## intothenew

MasterMerlin said:


> Well since no one else has posed a guess at the fish, I'll throw out the obvious. Is the fish Nemo?


Welcome MasterMerlin. I want you to know that you had the producers almost fist-to-cuff with that answer.

You see, it was the screenwriter's intent that you circle the particular fish and submit. There are other artists renditions on the page. After review of the question as posed, and making the screenwriters work for free today, they asked Martha just what IT was. "It's a fish you dummies", she replied. So, your answer of:



MasterMerlin said:


> fish


is acceptable.

I would like to introduce you to this weeks sponsor, Sandlick Aerospace. Your prize is a fresh development, the "SA-101".










This bird is loaded with Excel bombs that can be programmed to detonate at any depth. It gets incredible fuel mileage and is simple to fly. Future developments are to include pump jamming technology for a more localized attack.

Enjoy, and let us know how she does.


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## MasterMerlin

OOPS!!!! I was actually referring to the one that had the "bubbles" coming from it. Sorry. I never thought to actually circle the fish, my brain was only hitting on four cylinders as I was on my first cup of java. As far as the Excel bombs, I could use a few since I've had a slight bloom of BBA. 

I'll be sure to post the effectiveness of the bombs. If you could add a "keep the pump working" as opposed to jamming the pump that would do better since my micron filter is stopped up and not working at the present time. Hopefully Santa will soon deliver the new supply.


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## intothenew

PRJCT92EH2 said:


> subscribed!


Thanks, I just hope you don't ask for your money back. Production costs are about to sky rocket.


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## Tex Gal

Alotta talk - no action. I wanna see a px of that wall and what you've done to it since Martha's been back. I know it's not how you left it with us. Martha wouldn't allow it...


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## JERP

Tex Gal,
You have more experience than me with UV's. I did my research, trusted the advice, and followed it. If the bulb stays clean then you shouldn't have a problem.

As far as lifespan of the bulb goes. A UV bulb does not burn out for several years, it just puts out less and less UV light until then. You really can't check it visually since Light in the UV spectrum is not visible and the bulb is in a sealed container. The bright blue color of the bulb is more of a byproduct of the UV bulb and really just tells you that it's on. A UV sterilizer is for preventative purposes and is not needed for the daily health of the aquarium. Your aquarium is healthy enough that the UV could even be off and you'd never notice from the results. Your bulb if pretty high powered. I would think a 25W bulb can degrade quite a bit before it stops being useful.


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## intothenew

Tex Gal said:


> Alotta talk


Sheeesh, I just want to personally greet everybody that stops in. I am certainly going to need their help in episodes to come. I'm shakin' it here boss, we got a special holiday episode coming up.

O, and are you kin to Martha? You sure sound a lot like her.


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## Tex Gal

JERP said:


> Tex Gal,
> You have more experience than me with UV's. I did my research, trusted the advice, and followed it. If the bulb stays clean then you shouldn't have a problem.
> 
> As far as lifespan of the bulb goes. A UV bulb does not burn out for several years, it just puts out less and less UV light until then. You really can't check it visually since Light in the UV spectrum is not visible and the bulb is in a sealed container. The bright blue color of the bulb is more of a byproduct of the UV bulb and really just tells you that it's on. A UV sterilizer is for preventative purposes and is not needed for the daily health of the aquarium. Your aquarium is healthy enough that the UV could even be off and you'd never notice from the results. Your bulb if pretty high powered. I would think a 25W bulb can degrade quite a bit before it stops being useful.


FYI, I emailed the company and they said you should replace the bulb every year. I guess that means I need a new one. When I change it, that will give a chance to check again for cleanliness.

Looking forward to the holiday episode!


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## niko

I don't understand why a UV sterilizer must be part of this otherwise wholesome family entertainment. Install the biggest one you can afford, don't turn it on, just have it there to scare the algae away. That's what I do and it works. Ah yes I also don't have light over that tank.

Ok, InToTheNew! Time to hear about the 6" H beam you so generously promised to us on page 1 of this amazing saga!









(The above image is Russian. If you can see it you have been infected by a Russian computer virus. To check try to say "doh-svee-dah-nya", if you can call 911)

--Nikolay


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## Analog Kid

Great thread. 6" I Beam...in wall tank install? support for removal of load bearing wall? This sounds interesting. On the UV, definitely get the wiper one. The Bulbs DO get slimy and this does effect the transmission of the UV light. I agree that when things are good in your tank, you will never know why you bought it. However, overdose ferts, feed too much etc. and you will be glad you have it (pea soup killer).


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## Tex Gal

intothenew said:


> Sheeesh, I just want to personally greet everybody that stops in. I am certainly going to need their help in episodes to come. I'm shakin' it here boss, we got a special holiday episode coming up.
> 
> O, and are you kin to Martha? You sure sound a lot like her.


Us women folk gotta stick together. Enjoyin' the show! Can hardly wait to see what you come up with next!


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## intothenew

Psssst, Psssssssst......... Dad, hey Dad.........she's comin'.










A little before I had hoped, it's good we constructed this amazing piece of urban camouflage. Just act natural Sweetpea, maybe we can clean this up before she's on to us.










For any normal human, I still think we could have pulled it off. But, I failed to take into account the amazing powers of perception that Martha commands. She makes a flanking maneuver around our meticulous attempt at diversion, and looks me in the eye just as I set Ol Monday to the floor. I just cannot bring myself to repeat her statement.

After a brief moment of "The Look", she walks off mumbling. Shortly, I hear the banging of plastic buckets and water running in the laundry tub. Sheeew, I think we have escaped a felony charge.

That leads us into today's two part episode:

Laws, Ordinances, and Codes

and

The Big picture

Part one to follow after a short break.


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## intothenew

*Laws, Ordinances, and Codes*​
To proceed with an endeavor such as this, we should certainly review the current judicial system. The bright side here is that there are no misdemeanor charges. The bad side, there are only felony charges and capital punishment the only sentence.

In a felony case, you stand accused immediately, before only one judge, and left to defend yourself. Sentencing is swift. I have lived the terror of a few of these tribunals. Acquittals are obtained on very rare occasions, pardons only after you feel the course fibers of the rope.

Misdemeanors, they just don't exist. At least they don't exist in any formal sense. But, there is a strange phenomenon that happens in some instances of civil disorder. The "Health and Human Services" department take a vacation. Examples include, but are not limited to:

Kitchen: caloric intake goes waaaaay down

Laundry: the skivvy drawer inventory drops dramatically

Family Planning: well, I'll just leave it at that.

Sweetpea, it looks like bologna tonight.


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## intothenew

*The Big Picture*​
In what would only be normal in a Marvel comic, Martha enters the laundry room and the creature "The White Tornado " emerges. This thing is unbelievable, it could take down Mr. Clean with 7 of it's 8 arms tied behind it's back. After a flurry of activity, the mound of rubble is reduced to this.










And just as mysteriously as it appeared, the White Tornado vanished into the laundry room and Martha emerges for a complete inventory of the situation.

One fish tank missing: good

Plethora of wires: bad

Dangling den dimmer switch: not of immediate concern, we won't be using that for a couple of days at least

Exposed plumbing from my powder room: bad

Exposed pantry chests: bad

One missing wall: bad, no, very bad

Ok, let's get the guys from design and mechanical in here for an assessment.

One planted tank given up for adoption: but we do get visitation

Plethora of wires: looks like 30amps to ourselves already, and we are only 20 feet from the main

Dangling den dimmer switch: well, sometimes you gotta take one for the team

Exposed plumbing from THE powder room: this is soooo coool, the boys in maintenance will buy us beer for life

Exposed pantry chests: we really didn't know they were back there

One missing wall: no problem, we add a structural beam and replace it with two walls.

Honey(with EXTRA emphasis), step back here and let me explain what they are trying to say.

Look, from YOUR side we will have a framed in wall with only the front of the tank showing. No wires, no plumbing, no smells. Picture it?










From the back side, we enclose it with a closet. Entry door for maintenance, it will be totally enclosed. Picture it?










She ponders the data for a moment, and then pops THE question. How much is this going to c.........

And in the brief period that it takes to get to the inevitable vowel that is to follow, I have the innate ability to slow time. I review specifications and pricing for an incredible list of mandatory mechanical devices, uv, ro, co2, cannisters, mh...........

............ost?

I answer honestly. "I don't know, but we have a lot of stuff laying around that we can use. I'll dig it up and we can look at it."

Her answer again reveals her amazing powers of perception, "Yea.......right."


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## niko

Ay! Nice!

It took me high and low, it went fast and slow. Nice, nice, nice.

And something akin to a 6" H beam seemed to be mentioned too!

Thank you! Looking forward for more!

--Nikolay


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## wet

I do not want to dilute your wonderful thread, except I must say this is one of the most entertaining threads (and I'll bet anyone -- ANYONE -- trims it will be the best) in the history of planted aquaria. Thank you!


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## intothenew

Analog Kid said:


> 6" I Beam...in wall tank install? support for removal of load bearing wall?


Very perceptive my dear Watson! Sorry I didn't get to ya earlier, one of the mods needed a fix. Welcome.



wet said:


> I do not want to dilute


As long as you don't water down the liquor, you are welcome. Come on in, have a seat. I'll even pour you one. And by all means, keep those cards and letters coming.


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## cs_gardener

When I first saw this thread I passed it by thinking it concerned DIY CO2. Then I saw a post on the APC Spy and decided to come visit. This is a great project and a very entertaining read. I'm looking forward to seeing what comes.


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## intothenew

cs_gardener said:


> When I first saw this thread I passed it by


And I ad lib from Forrest Gump:

Titles are like a box of chocolates.

I hope you enjoy.


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## JoeHundredAire

Great thread! I had to subscribe. You've got guts. With my wife, I would have been killed on Tuseday right after I set Ol' Monday down


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## intothenew

JoeHundredAire said:


> I would have been killed


I feel your pain.

And Welcome.


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## xavierj123

I hope that 6" I-Beam is already there and that you don't have to try to install it. I have an I-Beam that runs the length of my basement ceiling for structural integrity. I specified it in the construction of my house so I know what you are talking about.


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## ghengis

This Thread is a pisser! (can I say that??) Man, you know how to treat your women, well done! Absolute gold!! Definitely along for the ride


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## JoeHundredAire

intothenew said:


> And Welcome.


Thanks! I've been here a while. I have just never posted. Niko pointed to the thread on another forum that I frequent, but it was your handiwork that brought me out of hiding.

I'm still trying to figure out where I can build an inwall setup. Keep it up! I need some good ideas for my "dying days" :slywink:


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## niko

JoeHundredAire said:


> ...I'm still trying to figure out where I can build an inwall setup...


Have you closely inspected ALL the walls in your living room?

You know at least one of them (if not more) are begging to contain a fish tank...

--Nikolay


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## intothenew

xavierj123 said:


> I hope that you don't have to try to install it.


Nah, that's what the guys in mechanical are for.

I'm glad you stopped in.



ghengis said:


> Definitely along for the ride


And what a long strange trip it will be.

Enjoy


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## PLANT^NUT

Good Luck !!!


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## Bert H

Cost???? Now that you've come this far with the ripping out of your wall(s), this is almost a non-issue!


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## JERP

It may cost him the better part of his manhood if he doesn't get that wall patched soon...

He may need to pick up a nice pickling jar on your next trip to the hardware store.


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## intothenew

PLANT^NUT said:


> Good Luck !!!


Thanks, I am certainly going to need it.


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## JERP

intothe new,
for your amusement, here's another guy who had too much fun with his tank rebuild.

http://www.aquaticplantcentral.com/forumapc/journals/56524-50gal-ugly-tank.html


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## intothenew

JERP said:


> too much fun


No such thing.

There is no bad food, only bad cooks.

Thank you for the link. Design and mechanical are holed up in a motel 550 miles from the project, they actually have to pay for the privilege of gracing Martha. Production is a little slow at the moment, but theory can always be discussed. I assure you that the entire "Team" will review the thread.


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## intothenew

JERP said:


> here's another guy


Beyond admiring the incredible candor, the seriousness of intention, and the lack of inhibition that is displayed in that thread I have one selfish statement to make.

I AM NOT ALONE

Thanks JERP, I needed that.


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## CraigThor

Updates..... I'm going nuts without updates....

Craig


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## intothenew

CraigThor said:


> I'm going nuts without updates....


Mmmmmk, I'll give you a little teaser since you asked. And welcome by the way.

There has come to pass a crossroads of incredible scope. One that has far reaching consequences in design, in capital, and in aesthetics.

While design and mechanical were off obtaining capital, the agents in Central Intelligence were gathering data. After submitting said data to the State Department, the highest ranking Diplomat was dispatched for talks with.........you know who.

I am proud to announce that a tentative agreement has been reached. Nothing has been signed, but final negotiations are moving quickly.

So, according to how the final deal is settled, our next episode will be:

"Martha takes a Bubble Bath"

or

"Scratch This"


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## ghengis

Sounds like a Middle Eastern ceasefire treaty....

Let's just hope the outcome is somewhat more favorable!lol!


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## intothenew

*The Continuum*​
We feed the mother ship with a controllable freshwater supply.

The mother ship is equipped with one over flow. This overflow can be sent directly to drain or in normal mode feeds a quarantine ward.

The quarantine ward is also equipped with an over flow that goes directly to drain.

We have the ability of intermittent or continuous freshwater to both tanks, albeit dilute to quarantine. We have the ability for privacy when the Doc sees fit, he will have the ability to fumigate the entire ward without effect to the mother ship. We keep a few potted plants in the ward for environmental control, and they can be removed when there is an unruly patient to straight jacket.

Comments?


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## intothenew

Adoption, yeah, that will feel good. I had not gotten over the terrible feeling of letting the 29g go, but what better way to get relief than giving another lonely tank a loving home. I had been hiding my lunch money for quite some time in anticipation. The day of the deal, I arrange for two laborers to meet me at the orphanage.

Why I would have to pay to rescue a tank from such conditions I will never know. A 12" long alligator had taken up residence where White Clouds and Kuhlis should roam. I was so overcome with despair, and hungry, that I make a generous offer for the tail of the alligator only. I've never tried it, but what a fantastic way to celebrate a new relationship. I fix supper, Martha certainly isn't with this on the menu, and we save another tank from the death squeals of mice and crickets. I think the owner actually gave my offer some serious consideration but, the trade value at the LFS/Bird Cage/Gerbil Den/Lizard Emporium must have far exceeded my offer.

After watching countless scoops of "gator gunk" being removed with an "I can't believe it's not butter" tub, I just couldn't take it anymore. "Quit, just quit!, We load the tank right now, or we fry that tail in butter". Sickening thought I know, but I was hungry.

We gingerly load 125g of pure paradise into the S.S. SookieSue, and pack the stand into one of the laborer's vehicle for the ride home. I scorn the inadequacy of the DOT for the 15 miles home. I drive like a Grandfather, oh so conscious of the feeble cargo that I command.

A temporary crib had been readied for the arrival. Intothenewinplaytex went to work on removing the foul signs of the previous caretaker. A shop vac is a mans best friend during times such as these. For the final polish, some one made the suggestion that Martha take a bubble bath and kill two birds so to speak. Well, that went over like a lead balloon. Meet 125g of pure paradise.










But the excitement was soon to end. After a detailed inspection, which should have been performed at the orphanage, I spot these permanent tattoos.










Never ever ever go to to an orphanage on an empty stomach! I hide my despair and call in the CIA for some damage control.

Ok, here's the plan. We shake down all of the informants for a substitute. We have a line on an LFS that is going belly-up. We also quietly inquire about a custom build. They also highly suggest that we pull in the most senior diplomat, this could get ugly.

A tale of MTS dens and an exploding LFS coming up.


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## intothenew

*FS/FT*

One slightly used and full of character 125g aquarium complete with stand.

One slightly used shop vac, and if you buy today we will throw in a free box of baking soda.


----------



## intothenew

CIA agent, “The local informants can only come up with a 75g max for adoption. The LFS that is folding has two 125s up for grabs. We suggest that you show Martha new pricing at GC on the interwebs and then go to the LFS and have a look. GC's reputation is in serious question, but they show low prices. We have another vendor in mind if the LFS deal doesn't work out.”



Senior Diplomat, “ Another vendor, you mean I am not going into this under full disclosure. I don't think you guys know who we are dealing with here. There is no Diplomatic Immunity.”



CIA agent, “Just think of all the people that are counting on you. The boys in mechanical have assured us that you will receive free Perrier for life if you can pull this off. We have an agent in place at the LFS, code name “MTS Chris”. He will know you when you walk in. Just follow his lead.”


Senior Diplomat, “Perrier, hmmmm, do you have an exit strategy?”


CIA agent, “We know from Martha's web traffic that she has been researching Dwarf Gourami's intensely, even more than the weather channel, which is an amazing turn. You see, her code name here is “Chicken Little”. She has this thing for bubble nests if you didn't know. That is the foundation of the exit strategy. All you have to do, if left with no other alternative, is state that the boys in mechanical have plans for a reptilian showcase if the current tank is to be used. We feel that you have a 79.7% chance of success. And it's about 50/50 on your survival with the exit strategy.”



Senior Diplomat, “I should have been a statistician, that's a 10.15% chance of a rope.”


----------



## intothenew

*The Art of Diplomacy and the Teachings of Pooh*​
Our diplomat of course has a revised plan from the recommendations of the CIA. The first move is to lure Martha next door to the floundering LFS for a couple of Fajitas. Being the most debonair of dinner guests, he makes small talk through the course and waits until coffee is served to make the first move.

"Have you heard of the Artsy Fartsy departments concerns with the current aquarium project?" Purchasing missed some scratches low on the tank and they feel this will be unacceptable. Don't think too harshly of the purchasing agent, there are assurances that the capital can be regained. I noticed on the way in here that the LFS next door is going out of business, would you like to have a look? Maybe we can help these folks out of this dilemma.

Martha hesitates for a moment, then replies, "Well, while I do understand and sympathize, I want to make one thing perfectly clear, every departments budget is locked as of this moment. No tires for the motorcycles in maintenance, no hunting stuff for mechanical, not even a colored pencil for artsy fartsy until we get this straight. Oh, and buy the way, that goes for the Perrier they promised you too."

Now the next move from our diplomat can only be described as the "E8" approach.

Have you ever walked into an exploding fish store, just after a Especial Dinner? It smells like 8 different kinds of excrement in a can. Never ever ever walk into an exploding fish store just after an Especial Dinner. Our diplomat braves the stench and inquires as to the whereabouts of any large tanks suitable for adoption. Martha follows walking on her toes. Never ever ever wear white tennis shoes into an exploding fish store. Assessment of the candidates is reported to be deplorable. One has a tattoo "Live to Swim" and the other "Mice, the other white meat".

Non too soon, the obvious agent "MTS Chris" touts that he has a 150g and a 180g that are available to a good home. They are just down the street. This is the first meeting of the minds in this difficult negotiation, let's just get out of here.

A short trip reveals why the CIA is the CIA. They sure know how to give code names. Our team enters through the basement, and in the first room, freshwater...freshwater...marine...freshwater...marine...marine. The second room, the candidates, both encrusted in a film that only saltwater can sustain. Assessment is futile, our diplomat asks what the cost of adoption for each might be. An answer in the realm of 60-70% of new is uttered. And at that point, our diplomat felt what is assuredly the pinnacle of any diplomatic career. Martha gestures that this just will not do, a gesture, only a gesture.

To understand the feelings of our diplomat, you must understand some of the teachings of Pooh, Winnie-the-Pooh. A very special philosophical parallel can be drawn in this case. Pooh, when asked what the very best thing about honey was, responded something to the effect, it's that very moment when you know that you have it. Not the hunt, not the consumption, but the moment just before your tongue feels the amazing taste and texture of the elixir.

With that gesture, our diplomat knew his job was complete. He cordially thanked MTS Chris, and insincerely commented to give the offer some consideration.


----------



## niko

This is blossoming in unexpected ways!

By now I will have to confess to my doctor that I had to focus (which he explicitly told me I must never do). The reading was so fascinating that it pulled me in and I acidentally focused on it for a long time.

I feel spent now. I hope that maybe the next episode will appear in print sooner than the effect of those horrible pills the doctor will give me after I talk to him....


--Nikolay


----------



## Tex Guy

Damn, I'm exhausted just reading it, let alone living through it. We're with you in spirit throughout this intrigue! You may need some superhero intervention here.


----------



## intothenew

Now for an assessment and recommendations from each department;


Design: Looks like we can file the homebrew overflow drawings. We suggest bulkheads for pumps and filters. Looks like a 180 will fit.

Mechanical: We just love the smell of PVC in the morning, the more the better. A tank without trim.

Artsy Fartsy: Starphire

Maintenance: If you guys keep this up we could get a few more weeks of vacation each year.

Purchasing: Glass cages has low bid, but the quality is in question. Aquarium Obsessed is pricey, but they may prevent another diplomatic nightmare. I'm too old to be looking for another job.


----------



## intothenew

Tex Guy said:


> You may need some superhero intervention here.


That's why I am in this forum, the superheroes of pearling and ph are here. I just hope there is a phone booth handy when they see me in imminent danger.

Welcome to the show.


----------



## MasterMerlin

OMG!!!! This is great reading. I'll admit I am in no way brave enough to tackle "Martha" or "Chicken Little". I settled for a nice 75 on a stand in the living room. The closest thing I can compare with your "situation" is when I baked dirt for the new substrate. The "wifey" wasn't happy with me placing a large pan of dirt in the oven for 3 hours. 

Of course I had the "this is never going to work" and the "how much did all of this dirt cost" to deal with in my Accounting Department. But after a few weeks of love and nurture my plants are EXPLODING and she had a little crow to eat.

Can't wait for the next installment!!!!


----------



## CraigThor

Project get canceled?


----------



## Tex Gal

Probably got caught in the $690 billion stimulus package.... waiting for his $20 one time tax rebate...


----------



## intothenew

CraigThor said:


> Project get canceled?


Nope, the change created a lot more home work. I have worn out a pair of reading glasses, one computer mouse, and killed several trees taking notes since the diplomatic episode. I've been having a great time actually, learning a lot I think. That is to be determined.

I will try to have some ramblings posted this weekend.

Thanks for asking.


----------



## Pinto

This is one entertain thread!!!
BUT this is serious business!!
keep it GOIN!!!
my eyes are about to burst reading.


----------



## intothenew

Pinto said:


> keep it GOIN!!!


I'm in too deep now, we're going somewhere with this. Will it be the sump/pump den or a shoe closet that Imelda Marcos would be proud of?

Thanks for joining us.


----------



## intothenew

It's an I!










It's a H!










No, actually it's a W6 x 20# that can't leap a stinkin' thing without a LOTTA help.


----------



## CraigThor

come one that can't weight more than 5-6 lbs at most


----------



## MasterMerlin

CraigThor said:


> come one that can't weight more than 5-6 lbs at most


LMAO.... the "20#" stands for 20 pounds per linear foot. Just looking at the picture I'm guessing that beam is about 10' give or take long so that equals 200 pounds. BTW if you're curious, the 6 denotes the size. So that is a W (wide flange) 6" nominal beam that is 20 pounds per foot.

Now back to the regularly scheduled show!!!


----------



## intothenew

*The Hillbilly Beam Elevator​*
*with​*
*A Brief Comment on the Queen of England​*
This particular episode seems to be highly anticipated by many of you following along at home. We have received a lot of cards and letters on this one, I hope you are not disappointed.

Here is where Ol Monday and I get a chance to partially redeem ourselves, construction as opposed to destruction. The two of us take equal pride in both, but management seems to prefer the former. Design and Mechanical erect an elegant contraption.

The Hillbilly Beam Elevator:










That shot was taken from the viewing area set aside for dignitaries and heads of state, well removed from the possible pitfalls concerning gravity.

Now here is the backstage view. If the Egyptians would have had this technology the pyramids could have been built three times as high in one third the time.










Our structural member begins the journey upwards amidst the sounds of grunts and flatulence.



















After a dance that could only be compared to a Russian ballet. the beam comes to rest. Another shot form the dignitary section.










A header board is installed to account for the discrepancies of the Masons that came before us, and all is wedged tight.



















Ol Monday helps with the setting of two temporary posts.










And the beam elevator is disassembled.



















The dignitaries and heads of state are welcomed to view the final product up close, and without fear of the construction perils. Martha actually passes beneath without hesitance.

Unbeknown to those in the crowd, a grand honor was bestowed by Martha. A subtle affair, unlike the contemporary tradition for such esteem, a simple question serves as the ceremony. I can only compare this to Knighthood as is given by the queen across the big pond, only this is a much more exclusive realm. The "Queen" is a bit loose with her devotion. Those with equestrian skills donned with a full metal jacket, and rock stars of platinum status enjoy her reverence. Martha confines her regard to only one.

"Honey, what would you like for supper?"


----------



## intothenew

*FS/FT*

One, slightly used beam elevator. Some assembly required.


----------



## CraigThor

intothenew said:


> *FS/FT*
> 
> One, slightly used beam elevator. Some assembly required.




But the true hillbilly way would have invloved 10 guys and a keg of beer, plus lots of swearing and sweating


----------



## intothenew

CraigThor said:


> But the true hillbilly way would have invloved 10 guys and a keg of beer, plus lots of swearing and sweating


That sounds like lunch time for the maintenance department.


----------



## MasterMerlin

Very nice elevator!!! I give you 10 extra points for the use of rope since I'm kind of a rope junkie. I have to agree with CraigThor, I'd have used the multiple guys and brawn over brain power. I'll give you a score of 95%. I only take off 5 points b/c you didn't show any picts of the rope rigging. :cheer2:


----------



## Cocobid

Miss Martha needs red roses and a box of chocolates waiting for her under the new I Beam.... :heart::heart::heart:
I love this journey


----------



## intothenew

Cocobid said:


> Miss Martha needs red roses and a box of chocolates


Tis' the season. 

We welcome your amity.


----------



## fwdixon

At some point we need a post introducing the cast of character. i can only imagine the personal description and the photos! Best reading on the net, right here!


----------



## intothenew

fwdixon said:


> At some point we need a post introducing the cast of character.


I will certainly pass that on to the producers. But, I fair warn you,be careful what you ask for. That could be a journey through human experiences that would leave even Freud dizzy.

Welcome, and thanks for the accolade.


----------



## ghengis

Thoroughly enjoying the narrative, into. 

Such a dialogue as to impress ol' Bill himself, were he not 200 years departed.

Keep it up, you have each and every one of us glued to our monitors (...incidentally, may I advise a little less construction adhesive, next time, I really must remove this computer from my face...)


----------



## intothenew

*Hear ye, Hear Ye!​*
This meeting of the Hillbilly Planning Commission will now come to order.










We have some special visitors today. The "New" family has invited some of their interweb friends to join us. I ask that you be on your best behavior. That means, keep the gas passing to an absolute minimum, use the spittoons, don't light any of those left handers, and don't uncork those jugs. Some of these folks could be revenuers and we sure don't want to help their business any.

(amidst the sounds of chairs sliding and muffled speech as the entire room begins to empty)

Now just hold on a minute, can't you folks take a joke? Sit back down, just watch what you say.

Let's have the reading of last months minutes.

Due to the increase in school snow days, it was agreed that the children could spend the days in Urdle's barn as long as they were frisk for matches.

Some complaints were voiced on the racket that Zeek's new hound has been making. After discussion about how many treed **** the dog had, it was decided we could all put up with it.

The New's were granted a permit for an indoor bait tank.

Ok, do we have any old business to discuss?

Urdle,

My cats seem to have left. If anyone has seen them or have any to give away see me after the meeting.

Into,

We would like to add another bait tank in the cabin.

Sounds like new business to me. You're a bit long winded, I say we adjourn for a drink and return with new business.

This meeting is adjourned for one hour.


----------



## intothenew

Ok, back to order.

New business, Into you have something to say?

Well, as most of you are aware, the bait tank we bought off of the city boy just ain't gonna cut it. So I am here today to lay out some options and ask for your input.

*Plan B*

We purchase a custom built 180g and a custom built 20g. As has been described in "The Continuum", both are fed by programmable supply. The 20g is used for QT.

Pricing on this setup is kinda funny. 2 gazillion dollars for the 180g delivered. 5 bazillion dollars for the 20g and shipping is free.

*Plan C*

The 2 gazillion dollar 180g and a sump built with the QT integral. Estimates on cost for the sump are between 2 and 3 bazillion. The seltzer we need for the pond weeds is a little bit of an issue on this one. But, as long as Koolaid is driving the truck with all of those big seltzer tanks, we should be ok on that one. We still have auto water change on this one.

*Plan D*

We can purchase a 180g plastic tank pre-made for the sump for around 1 gazillion dollars. We have the same issue with the seltzer assuming we use the sump. We have auto water change on this one also. But the only thing plastic we have is the bucket to feed the hogs, and corn kernels scratch it.

We are here today for permitting of the second tank, be it sump or QT. Also, I am skeered of plastic. Anybody here got a plastic bait tank?


----------



## MagpieTear

Ghetto subscribing, as I'm trying to talk SWMBO into converting the prized "dining room" (which hasn't seen a guest in well over a decade) into a tank/guinea pig/ dual screen computer loaded mancave replete with leftover motorcycle parts and a beer cooler


----------



## intothenew

MagpieTear said:


> Ghetto subscribing, as I'm trying to talk SWMBO into converting the prized "dining room" (which hasn't seen a guest in well over a decade) into a tank/guinea pig/ dual screen computer loaded mancave replete with leftover motorcycle parts and a beer cooler


Do you know of any baby showers in the near future? If you do, maybe I can help with strategy.


----------



## MagpieTear

No baby showers, I'm planning on using graduation party season to my fullest advantage... ;-)


----------



## Reginald2

Hey what gives? Is this thing on? I was glorying in watching a functional democracy. *whispers* We are not even allowed to speak of such things here.


----------



## intothenew

Reginald2 said:


> Hey what gives?


To answer that literally, I do. After intense deliberation, it seems the only common theme is many **** skins for a new bait tank. Design is ciphering on the volume of creek water to flow through this thing, Executive has released the funds, and the bureaucracies of Maintenance and Mechanical are tied up in details.

I'm gonna drop the hammer on something next week. But, we are still in committee. Your vote counts.


----------



## ghengis

This new way of learning amazes me, Sir Bedevere... 
Tell me again how we know the world to be banana shaped?


----------



## intothenew

ghengis said:


> This new way of learning amazes me, Sir Bedevere...
> Tell me again how we know the world to be banana shaped?


I must first explain how sheep's bladders may be employed to prevent earthquakes.


----------



## ghengis

intothenew said:


> ghengis said:
> 
> 
> 
> This new way of learning amazes me, Sir Bedevere...
> Tell me again how we know the world to be banana shaped?
> 
> 
> 
> I must first explain how sheep's bladders may be employed to prevent earthquakes.
Click to expand...

LOLZ! Well done


----------



## eco-mod

If only books were this intriguing... Perhaps more of said bound stacks of paper may be sold. We await the future in hopes of signs of a watery oasis are near!


----------



## cturner

Very interesting read. I normally cruise thru for pictures and read few comments but this is fun! Subscribed!op2:


----------



## intothenew

eco-mod said:


> bound stacks of paper


This interweb thing has put a serious dent in my "Borders" visits.

Welcome.


----------



## intothenew

cturner said:


> I normally cruise


Cut down a few side streets in this place, there are a lot of fantastic people and good ideas around every corner.

I'm glad you could join us.


----------



## redman88

did the writers go on strike?


----------



## intothenew

redman88 said:


> did the writers go on strike?


There has been a really bad foul up. The left handed writers got the right handed pencils, and vice versus. We decided to give them a few weeks off. Purchasing must have better communication with the expediter if things are to improve.

The tank is on order, 6-8 weeks before delivery. I sure hope it is the correct hand.

Design, Mechanical, and Artsy Fartsy all meet at my office this weekend for a rescape of the 55g. We may be able to get you backstage pass to that.

We're shakin' it here, we're shakin' it.


----------



## redman88

thanks for the update


----------



## beaucon

I think you should have some sort of paypal link to a "Martha Defense Fund". Surely no jury will convict her but it will be expensive. Something tells me this is not the first project that started while Martha was out of the house. I've seen your kind before.

One day my wife came home to find that I had talked a backhoe operator who was working on a new construction site just down the street from us to dig a 2,000 gallon hole for my koi pond. It only cost me $25 for the hole, for a few minutes after she got home I thought it might cost me a whole lot more. Well it did actually cost me a whole lot more but that's another story. 

This is going to be fun....if you survive.


----------



## Tex Gal

I'll contribute to the "Martha Defense Fund". If we have any other "Honey Do" challenged out there with a long list, while all the other "departments" are out there futzing with the "dream of a lifetime" unapproved project- we might think about starting our own forum. Of course, it would be complete with pxs. and YouTube links. We could have contests with title like
If I Do It Myself, It'll Only Cost....
I Can Have It Done In Less Than A Week
This Will Be An Easy Project
Think What We'll Save....
By My Doing This, You'll Be Abe To Have ....


----------



## zdam20

Just about the most enjoyable thread I've ever read! Keep the faith!


----------



## JoeHundredAire

beaucon said:


> One day my wife came home to find that I had talked a backhoe operator who was working on a new construction site just down the street from us to dig a 2,000 gallon hole for my koi pond. It only cost me $25 for the hole, for a few minutes after she got home I thought it might cost me a whole lot more.


I would try that too, but there's no possible way I could get a full size backhoe into my back yard with the close proximity of my neighbor's houses.


----------



## intothenew

beaucon said:


> This is going to be fun....if you survive.


Some of us will surely make it out alive. Martha, at the least, needs the Defense Department.

Thanks for stopping in.


----------



## intothenew

If I Do It Myself, It'll Only Cost....

A case of beer and the medical deductible.​
I Can Have It Done In Less Than A Week

Of Sundays.​
This Will Be An Easy Project

If you'll help me.​
Think What We'll Save....

Maintenance and insurance doesn't count.​
By My Doing This, You'll Be Abe To Have ....

Plenty of bait.​


----------



## intothenew

zdam20 said:


> Just about the most enjoyable thread I've ever read! Keep the faith!


I can only hope that you are having half as much fun as I am with this.

Welcome here, and welcome to the forum.


----------



## Tex Gal

intothenew said:


> If I Do It Myself, It'll Only Cost....
> A case of beer and the medical deductible.​
> I Can Have It Done In Less Than A Week
> Of Sundays.​
> This Will Be An Easy Project
> If you'll help me.​
> Think What We'll Save....
> Maintenance and insurance doesn't count.​
> By My Doing This, You'll Be Abe To Have ....
> Plenty of bait.​


...Those subtitles would surely exist under the YouTube videos and pxs. [smilie=n:


----------



## Pinto

LOL.
You should make a comic book!


----------



## studdedsham

Now that it's been brought up, I could imagine a comic book.


----------



## intothenew

studdedsham said:


> Now that it's been brought up, I could imagine a comic book.


Although the writers have given your comments serious consideration, their efforts as of late have been focused on public service announcements.

The following is adapted and embellished from a post in equipment, I personally think it fits here better.

And thanks for stopping in.

*The Little UPS That Could*​
Once upon a time, in a land not far from here, there lived a young UPS. He knew that he was different from most of the other UPS's. He had a pure sine wave output, which gave him the opportunity to do almost anything he wanted in life. He felt bored in school, he was taught that supporting a PC was his destiny, but he had other plans. He graduated with excellent grades in VA class, 100%. WATTS class was a little different story, subjects such as power factor and RCL circuits kept his grades to 60%.

He wanted to make use of his talents in support of life, flora and fauna. "What better way than to supply my pure sine wave power to a planted freshwater aquarium?", he thought. He went to bed that night pondering all of the new equipment he could meet, and possibly help.

The first dream of the night started simple enough. It was an exciting dream, he got to stick his thing into a GFCI. O, it felt good. But something unexpected happened, something behind him grounded and shut the GFCI off. He immediately sprang to action as he had been taught so many times. He awoke in a cold sweat and with the smell of green smoke.

It took him forever to return to sleep after that nightmare, all he could think about was all of those fish, floating lifeless because he had done what he was trained to do. "Maybe a life of PC's isn't so bad", he thought.

After hours of self torture, he finally fell back to sleep. It wasn't long until he was dreaming of sticking his thing in something else, just a regular old wall outlet. It still felt good, but this was soon to end. The GFCI from the dream before was behind him, and upset because he left in the middle of something good. The power from the old wall outlet was a bit iffy this evening, it quit with little warning. And again, UPS sprang to action, but he just couldn't help. You see, the GFCI was a manual reset, pissed off piece of hardware. There is no way GFCI was going to let him through to do his job. He again woke in a cold sweat thinking of all those fish meeting the end ever so slowly. Cold and the slow reduction of oxygen has to be a miserable way to go.

He thought he would never sleep again, but finally he dropped into the land of dreams. This time he didn't think so selfishly, he thought of who he could help. He started by making friends with an auto reset GFCI, a beautiful thing. Of course he had to get around to sticking his thing into something, so why not the old wall outlet.

This was a very good relationship, and he learned a lot about his body. He was fast, and had many watt hours to be able to go all night. He learned to stay away from those manual reset GFCI's, something his mother never thought to warn him about. And he spent the rest of his days with the old wall outlet, the kind you can take home to Mom.

And they all lived happily ever after.


----------



## intothenew

*This is a Hillbilly News Special Report:*

There has been an incredible disaster at one of the HHH branch offices. We are kind of late on the scene, but we have file photos that show the destruction that can be caused by one individual. We don't yet have a real name, but local officials refer to him with an alias of, "The Hurricane". Many volunteers are helping with the clean-up as we speak, we'll get to some of those deeds of heroism shortly.

First we would like to show you just what mayhem can be. This photo was taken less than 24 hours after the perpetrator left the scene. As you can see, the Wet Cross has set up a Kuhli relief center and supplemental heat.










O, what devastation. Filter inlets clogged with debris, dangling temperature sensors, reduced water levels from the missing hard scape, and dozens of plants uprooted and gone. This guy doesn't miss a thing either, even the diffuser is turned upside down.

But, we must focus on the positive in times such as these. The Wet Cross is a class act, they show with materials for evacuation of the remaining inhabitants.










I am glad to report that all of the communities residents are now accounted for. We have a short interview with one of the last to be rescued. Meet Dot.










Dot, we want to thank you for taking the time to talk to us. This must be a difficult time for you. Do you have anything to say to our listening audience?

"Yes, yes I most certainly do. Not if, but when they catch the monster responsible for this, I want to see him in Kuhli Kourt where he will be treated like the snail that he is."

We now take you to an enlightening story relating to the investigative unit. In their professional diligence, they leave no lid unturned. It can now be confirmed that most, if not all of the flora and hard scape has been found. This also gives our investigators a lead to follow, that container looks familiar.










The following is an example of what inter company resources can achieve. The HHH central office dispatched a community rehabilitation team with ample funding for reconstruction. Out with the old, and in with the new. A mixture of Flourite and Eco-Complete is shoveled in.




























And temporary housing is established in an attempt to get this community back to some sense of norm.










Within only a few days, children are back playing in the streets. And, the roots of a community are beginning to set.




























There are still signs of rehabilitation from time to time.



















The temporary housing has now been removed.










And the planning commission now meet mon-fri for top to bottom look at what needs to be done next.










The Justice Department now thinks that this was most certainly an inside job. Internal Affairs seems to be a bit reluctant to take the case, flimsy evidence is their reasoning. All we can do as a responsible news agency is to follow every lead we can gather. And most importantly warn you the public that "The Hurricane" still moves free among us.

Until next time, thank you for tuning in to the Hillbilly News.


----------



## Bert H

So it looks like the reconstruction committee is currently re-habbing 2 different habitats? Hopefully they have followed all FUD (Fisheries Housing Developments) guidelines in their work. Otherwise, the powers that be could get quite disturbed.

Personally, it seems to me that the perpetrators of such a job did a masterful overhaul of existing structures and conditions.


----------



## intothenew

Bert H said:


> So it looks like the reconstruction committee is currently re-habbing 2 different habitats? Hopefully they have followed all FUD (Fisheries Housing Developments) guidelines in their work. Otherwise, the powers that be could get quite disturbed.
> 
> Personally, it seems to me that the perpetrators of such a job did a masterful overhaul of existing structures and conditions.


I do think that all FUD guidelines have been adhered to. That is one and the same tank if that is what you are asking. That tank is located in an HHH branch office occupied by the Director of Public Relations/Lead Bartender.

If not, then yes, the other project is operating under much more strict guidelines. At the home office we operate off of MUD(Martha Urban Development) guidelines, which are an intense, but sometimes rather vague set of protocols.


----------



## Forgotten Path

I'm hooked...

Great thread!


----------



## intothenew

Forgotten Path said:


> I'm hooked...


I hope we can keep you on the line. Thanks for stopping in.


----------



## redman88

any updates?


----------



## ghengis

redman88 said:


> any updates?


What he said...


----------



## intothenew

redman88 said:


> any updates?


Well, kinda. Since the Wet Cross has left the last disaster scene, the Planning Commission has employed Artsy Fartsy for some community rehab. They're shakin' it.










But, formal complaints have been filed concerning exposed plumbing and maintenance items. We hope to deal with these issues in arbitration.

Now, with Design and Mechanical under the stress of pending litigation, and the immense cipherin' involved with the home office project, Martha decided everyone needed a road trip.


----------



## Tex Gal

Way to go Martha! Hope you have a good time.

Love the reds! The Lobelia looks so nice nestled in there. Is that red Ludwigia palustris?


----------



## intothenew

Tex Gal said:


> Is that red Ludwigia palustris?


Amped On Iron Heirloom is what I like to refer to it as. It has been in the local circles here for years. Iron, of course, is the old Indian trick to the color. Hygrophila corymbosa 'Siamensis' maybe? You tell me, here is an IMAX photo to review. You may have to click twice to get the full view.


----------



## Tex Gal

Look here http://www.aquaticplantcentral.com/forumapc/plantfinder/details.php?id=121&category=genus&spec=Ludwigia Does it look like this? 
I don't think it's what you said.


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## intothenew

Have a look at this. The leaves are much thinner than the Ludwigia. This is before the heavy doping, and fresh after transplant. I'll try to get a macro shot tomorrow.


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## intothenew

This looks close. I had to take your reference to google images to get it.


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## davemonkey

Beautiful scaping job, intothenew! You've got yourself some good smarts when it comes to aquascape design. 

-Dave


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## Tex Gal

I asked Cavan to take a look and he says it's Ludwigia repens x arcuata. Just a beauty of a specimen!


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## intothenew

davemonkey said:


> Beautiful scaping job, intothenew!


Thank you Dave. Artsy Fartsy is complaining of the lack of depth to the 55. We are trying to get them a bigger playground, 

Thanks for stopping in.


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## intothenew

Tex Gal said:


> I asked Cavan to take a look and he says it's Ludwigia repens x arcuata. Just a beauty of a specimen!


I think we have a BINGO. I will still try a macro shot today.

Thanks Tex.


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## intothenew

Ladies and Gentlemen............Ludwigia repens x arcuata

Let's take a wide view for a moment.










Now, let's get up close and personal.










Does anybody have a recommendation for the proper salad dressing to use?


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## bzzi

Great writing, great tank, great plant. Nice to see you around this pastures, IntotheNew!


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## intothenew

bzzi said:


> Nice to see you around this pastures


"Walk me out in the morning dew"


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## Bert H

All I can say is WOW, and I'm jealous!


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## redman88

any updates?


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## intothenew

He left with little notice. Tough on me, but certainly devastating for his family. A family friend, first my father, then me, then my children. You just couldn't help but like the guy. 

I watched his children grow up, and he watched mine. In some ways, we grew up together.

I will miss the gravy that he so masterfully prepared in hunting camp. I will miss his laugh around the campfire.

I will miss seeing him in my mirror on a twisty road. He was one hell of a wing man.

But most, I will miss an unconditional friend. A friend that few experience, and even fewer appreciate.

RIP Barney. I'm sure there is a Honda Gold Wing waiting, and a big bowl of gravy.


We need a little time.


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## info scavenger

So sorry for your loss. :tear:


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## Tex Gal

What a nice requiem. We should all leave such a legacy. You have my sympathies.


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## riverrat

My deepest sympathies to you and yours.

After taking a large portion of this morning reading your wonderful journal with smile upon my face the whole time. I thank you for that. I can only imagine that Barney must have enjoyed his time with you. I would think many smiles and lots of laughter were shared forging memories that were and will be cherished. 

Thoughts and prayers,

River


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## Cold__Blooded

intothenew said:


> Ladies and Gentlemen............Ludwigia repens x arcuata
> 
> Let's take a wide view for a moment.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Now, let's get up close and personal.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Does anybody have a recommendation for the proper salad dressing to use?


Wow im new to this site this plant is beautiful!


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## intothenew

info scavenger said:


> So sorry for your loss. :tear:


Thank you for the thought, and welcome.



Tex Gal said:


> We should all leave such a legacy.


And I will try to carry his for the rest of my days. He is a hard act to follow.



riverrat said:


> I would think many smiles and lots of laughter were shared forging memories that were and will be cherished.


When he laughed, it was a total body experience. When he made you laugh, he made sure you got the same experience. Thanks for stopping in, I hope we can put that smile back on your face soon.


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## intothenew

Cold__Blooded said:


> this plant is beautiful!


I thought is was just Artsy Fartsy with their fancy schmancy camera that made it look so good. But I'm serious, the boys in maintenance are wanting to garnish a salad with the trimmings.

Thanks for stopping in.


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## northtexasfossilguy

This is a great thread, but at first I was expecting a DIY CO2 unit with beer-making abilities, and maybe some recipes. Oh, well. 

May Barney rest in peace.


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## intothenew

northtexasfossilguy said:


> Oh, well.


We didn't figure we could get past the Chief Environmental Engineer with that one. The Maintenance department has mentioned it quite a few times.

Welcome


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## apm

are those celstial danios? in the fuzzy pic



intothenew said:


> Have a look at this. The leaves are much thinner than the Ludwigia. This is before the heavy doping, and fresh after transplant. I'll try to get a macro shot tomorrow.


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## intothenew

apm said:


> are those celstial danios? in the fuzzy pic


Von Rio Tetras, on the move as usual.

Welcome to the forum.


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## redman88

intothenew,

how are you?

hows the project coming along?


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## intothenew

redman88 said:


> intothenew,
> 
> how are you?
> 
> hows the project coming along?


We are doing ok.

I have some vacation to get out the way in the next couple of weeks. You can get a taste of the game plan here. The writers are going with me, I'll have a talk with em' about the next episode.


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## MagpieTear

You're doing the TransAmerican? Color me jealous! Can't wait to see the writer's take on that trip! Are you on ADV Rider?


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## intothenew

MagpieTear said:


> You're doing the TransAmerican? Color me jealous! Can't wait to see the writer's take on that trip! Are you on ADV Rider?


Only the eastern section, hopefully to the Arkansas border. I use the same screen name on ADV, I looked and it appears that you do too.

I'm in the man cave wrenching, packing, going over maps, and generally fidgeting right now. I am soooooo excited.


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## lildark185

I just finished reading the thread to date and it's awesome! Like most others I thought this project had something to do with DIY CO2 and beer. Can't wait for Artsy Fartsy to work on the 180g!


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## intothenew

lildark185 said:


> DIY, CO2 and beer


That statement works if you just add a comma.

Welcome, I'm glad you are enjoying the thread.


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## Travis.808

:mullet: I think this smiley was put here just for this hillbilly thread! :roll:This is by far the best read I've found on here. It was worth the time it took to catch up to speed on the situation. I'm looking forward to seeing the fruits of the build started by Ol' Monday!


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## intothenew

Travis.808 said:


> I'm looking forward to seeing the fruits of the build started by Ol' Monday!


Uh, can I borrow your sig line somewhere near the end of this series? Me and Ol' Monday would sure appreciate it.


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## Gibby

We know we're needy but where's the update?


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## northtexasfossilguy

Did Intothenew survive the Trans-America tour? Has the wife finally gotten rid of him? Wasn't someone going to make moonshine CO2? Stay tuned for the next episode of Homebrew...


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## intothenew

Gibby said:


> We know we're needy but where's the update?


Martha left with some biker trash quite a few weeks ago. I think it's one of the guys in mechanical, he hasn't shown up for work in roughly the same time frame.










They can't stay out forever, Fall is moving in fast.


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## intothenew

northtexasfossilguy said:


> Did Intothenew survive the Trans-America tour?


Yes, and what a humbling and gratifying experience it was.



northtexasfossilguy said:


> Has the wife finally gotten rid of him?


How can she? She hasn't been here, she's been out "fannying around" with that biker trash. sheesh.



northtexasfossilguy said:


> Wasn't someone going to make moonshine CO2?


The R&D department has been complaining of pretty bad headaches while in product development on that one.


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## Travis.808

intothenew said:


> How can she? She hasn't been here, she's been out "fannying around" with that biker trash. sheesh.


Biker trash on a BMW bike Lawl!! nice bike btw


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## giypsy

intothenew said:


> Martha left with some biker trash quite a few weeks ago. I think it's one of the guys in mechanical, he hasn't shown up for work in roughly the same time frame. They can't stay out forever, Fall is moving in fast.


This thread has been a fantastic read and good therapy too. It has kept me from running my test kit dry waiting for my cycling tanks to finish.


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## intothenew

giypsy said:


> therapy


If you consider this therapy, I have serious concerns of your mental stability. In full disclosure, I recommend that you read this. Assuming it is too late for you, welcome to APA(Aquatic Planters Anonymous).


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## giypsy

intothenew said:


> If you consider this therapy, I have serious concerns of your mental stability. In full disclosure, I recommend that you read this. Assuming it is too late for you, welcome to APA(Aquatic Planters Anonymous).


Too late. (note-to-self; you've outed yourself again, please be more discrete)
I had a long gap between tanks as well, 25 years. What started out as one simple betta bowl to ease me through real grief, mushroomed into the cycling fish-village in just under two weeks. When I get to the journaling module, I'll post the saga.

In the interest of full disclosure; I began reading _Hillbilly Homebrew_ because some guy in India never fishished, (spellcheck, p2!) um finished telling the tale of his cinder-block tank. Reading _Hillbilly Homebrew_ lead to consecutively reading about the guy who was experimenting with willow trees & has a super-hero helper. (note-to-self; maybe Scuba Steve is a potential recruit, check that)

Reading the sagas was also my method for coping with the total confusion over T5 ($250 for a flippin light fixture, are you kidding me!?!) vs T8 & trying to comprehend the math for loss of lumen at increasing distances.

Now I need a camera with a macro setting because I must document the whole process and glass shrimp are very difficult to pose. The construction of the fish-village rack was not sufficient, although it did move the process along.

Thanks for the warm welcome & the great read. Consider this post my media release when you write the historical novel, which of course you really must do. Martha will be happy about the residual income & can buy herself one of those champagne glass tubs with an aquarium side-table for wine, cheese & chocolate.
Cordially,
Giypsy


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## Tex Gal

Giypsy - it's all over but the shoutin' Once you've joined the wet side there's no hope save a sane life's partner that puts the brakes on for you. Lookin' forward to your journal... 

Intothenew - he's right. Martha deserves the champagne glass tub with an aquarium side-table for wine, cheese & chocolate.


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## joshd

Being quite new to APC, I have had an interesting past couple weeks falling victim to the aquaticfloraitis.

I started dreaming (literally in my sleep) about lush planted tanks, substrate and fauna to match, and I even dreamed about attending the DFWAPC (which I missed, maybe next month). When I told my wife about them she laughed and assured me that I am going crazy.

Then yesterday I come across this thread. Sitting at my kitchen table reading it, while my wife sat across from me, I was uncontrollably laughing. She just shook her head at me (I know she was only further realizing how much of a nerd she married). My stomach was sore from laughing.


Intothenew, thank you for giving a guy as much laughter as I could handle in a day.

Josh


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## intothenew

joshd said:


> thank you for giving a guy as much laughter as I could handle in a day.


It is always the best medicine. Welcome to the show, and the forum.


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## giypsy

Having had a water-event, I need some entertainment whilst I start over. Any diversion at this point, will be therapeutic.


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## bookpage

not sure, but think that I am subscribing...


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## intothenew

bookpage said:


> not sure, but think that I am subscribing...


Today only, free shipping.


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## Travis.808

Ha!


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## redman88

intothenew said:


> Today only, free shipping.


well crap i subscribed yesterday, got the free shipping now i am getting charged for each delivery


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## RestlessCrow

Subscribed..... waiting not so patiently for an update!


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## giypsy

Ditto R.Crow. We realize all this downtime has surely been spent repairing
the ah, social breach, yeah that's it, with the ever tolerant Mrs Into but . . . 

Some of us have paid our annual dues on time and are feeling the urge to
tap a foot or drum some fingers, as we have nothing to contribute in our
own threads while mother nature takes her sweet time.
Hope you and Martha had a great Thanksgiving.


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## RestlessCrow

:::::Tapping foot impatiently:::::::


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## Reginald2

RestlessCrow said:


> :::::Tapping foot impatiently:::::::


*also*


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## MagpieTear

plus one. I know the motorcycle isn't cutting into the build at this time of year, even if he does have one of them "snooty bikes"


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## Bert H

The crowd demands an update!!!


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## RestlessCrow

Bert H said:


> The crowd demands an update!!!


LOL Bert.


----------



## intothenew

1 ringy dingy, 2 ringy di


Hello, thank you for calling HHH, this is Chuck speaking, can I help you?



"This is Bert H from APC, is intothenew around?"



Awe, wow man, this is cool. Bert H from APC, the coolest mod, at least that's what they say around here. HEY WILBERT, COME HERE MAN, I GOT BERT H ON THE PHONE.
Uh, sorry, I get excited easy. Naw, him and Martha are headed for their 31st celeb tonight, he left early. I'll see him tho, I date this real hotty that's kin to him somehow and we are invited to dinner. Sumpin' I can do for ya?



"Sure, just tell him I called."


Yea man, I will. Hey, while I got you on here, they promised all of us in the stockroom x-ray glasses from the APC catalog when the plant points got up high enuff. Man, I've seen that boat load that you carry around. Think ya can help us out?



"click"


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## brackish bro

i think i have ol mondays uncle. although i did not destroy a wall i was searching craigslist one day and found a stand, canopy tank package the size of 180 gallons for only 500 bucks. so i bought it, took it home and said to myself two things ''my wife is going to kill me'' and ''where am i going to put this tank in my 700sq ft one bedroom apartment?''


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## joshd

intothenew said:


> Naw, him and Martha are headed for their 31st celeb tonight, he left early.


Congrats on 31 yrs. Especially since you mangled a giant hole in her living room!!!


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## giypsy

I would just like to note for the record:
Congrats on thirty-one

It is 12:48 here in the frosty mitten

I stopped by after posting the berried shrimp shot
with the brand new technology to see if 
R & D, Artsy-Fartsy and Accounting had settled 
their differences or whatever is holding up 
Production.

. . . and I have a test in photog tomorrow morning

It is 2010 already, somebody give Production something to do!
Thank you, that is all. [insert tapping-foot emotie here]


----------



## Diana K

[insert tapping-foot emotie here]


----------



## joshd

Its as if we are all just being ignored....


----------



## Diana K

I think we are. :noidea: 
Must be a whale of a celebration. artyman:


----------



## RestlessCrow

::::::::::Crickets chirping:::::::::::::


----------



## CraigThor

RestlessCrow said:


> ::::::::::Crickets chirping:::::::::::::


I don't even hear crickets any more...


----------



## wet

Your fans want you to start hammering walls instead of Mrs IntoTheNew for a while, chief.


----------



## Bunnie1978

Lol


----------



## redman88

bump..........bump...............bump.........bump i'll knock next time


----------



## Travis.808

Maybe there was an accident with Ol' Monday?


----------



## redman88

maybe. guess we will never know


----------



## TarantulaGuy

Coommeee baaaccckkk! I need my Hillbilly Homebrew updates!


----------



## J.W.

Lets face it guys.... the network canceled the show. out:

...it was a great read though.

Any chance of re-run? rayer:


----------



## aaronbrown

if he aint got it done in two years it aint ever gonna get done


----------



## giypsy

Seems the crickets have left the job as well. Were they union or was it global warming?
Maybe if we're lucky Intothenew will release the whole series to Hulu or Snagfilms. 
I vote Snagfilms; despite the action-adventure nature of the series, it still 
qualifies as a documentary, or at least a docu-drama.

Anyone up for a road-trip to Sundance Film festival? We could make it a leisurely
summer road-trip out of it; maybe end up in Black Rock city. No one has ever done 
an Aquarium project at Burning Man that I am aware of. :flame:
Or maybe we should search Roswell, AZ?


----------



## redman88

well if i had some pics i would Search Roswell, NM for Intothenew


----------



## giypsy

OOps, sorry about that. 
Can you tell I live in a totally dif part 
of the country? Naaaaahhh


----------



## CraigThor

redman88 said:


> well if i had some pics i would Search Roswell, NM for Intothenew


hoto:


----------



## Travis.808

@J.W. re-run FTW!!!


----------



## intothenew

*Tilltheend*

Hmmmmm, just how am I going to talk my way out of this one?

The dog ate the script.

I doubt that one will hold up. From the size of Sweet Pea and the size of the embellished scripts, I don't think many would believe that she could handle it.

The Imelda Marcos shoe closet.

Although Martha surely has enough inventory to pull this one off, it just wouldn't hold without a link to the "HeelsRus" forum documenting the ordeal.

The truth.

Let's try that one. Several worldly opportunities have graced our lives in the past months, wonderful and fulfilling opportunities. Martha and I are not spring chickens, so when these arose the discussion was short and concise as to our path. The team has been away from HHH central for over half of the last eighteen months. But, there has been progress. It's just that the writers are off reveling in the past at the moment.
I assure those that have been following along, that the passion is still there. Finished? Truth be known, are we ever finished? We'll get the writers sober and cleaned up soon.


----------



## TarantulaGuy

I demand new scripts!


----------

