# banks



## TAB (Feb 7, 2009)

So I'm just going thru the mail.

A insufficient funds letter.



Check number blah blah blah...

$200


your balance on said date was $49.38.

my balance on said date was $4938.17, that was right after a $120 withdraw to buy gas, from thier ATM no less. No other activity on that account in the 10 days before or the 4 days after.

Of corse they are not open tomarrow...

Luckly they paid the check, but they still dinged me $34... 

I would not want to be the branch manger monday morning... I will not be in a good mood. I will be waiting for them when they open.

they better come up with a very good reason for me to keep my money there. Or they are going to lose about 30k in deposits and my biz account that sees tens of thousands every month.


I have never bounced a check nor had insufficient funds, granted I've taken account down to about $.10, but never overdrafted.

bastards.


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## niko (Jan 28, 2004)

Oh the sad, funny, and just plain sorry details of working for one of the largerst US banks some years ago. The things I saw, heard, and was part of were simply pathetic:

*ONE:* A 2 hour meeting of our team with some big boss. An average looking woman. Bewildered about what is she going to talk about to a small group of computer programmers.

So for 2 hours we listen to her describing how hard it is to travel around the country because all the bank branches and buildings she visits require, you guessed it, a different badge or keys. At some point we enjoyed an impersonation of her trying to unlock an imaginary door.

I looked around to see the facial expressions of my colleagues. They were all intently listening and their eyes were glassy. I realized that I do not exactly get one particular part of the office games. "How to appear attentive when a more-than-well paid clown is doing its thing."

*TWO* I get hired as a computer programmer. Consultant. The word "consultant" suggest some kind of pressing need for services/knowledge. But for the first 2-1/2 months I'm not even given a computer. My inquiries about doing some work meet with the same response: "For now stay low. Read a book in your cubicle or something."

One day the computer arrived! It was another 1 month until it got loaded with the needed programs...

*THREE* The nice folk at the office had worked a deal to work from home 2 days a week. Tuesday + Thursday. Those days you could not reach them in any way. Also noone really showed up to work on Friday. Everybody arrived late on Monday too. Nice folk, not too overworked, you know. True, a little underpaid (80-120K/year) but hey, nothing in life is perfect.

One day I return after being out of town for 12 days. It is Monday. I go to see my boss as soon as he arrives (10:30AM). I say:
- Hey! I'm back. Ready to work!
He goes:
-Oh! How was your weekend?
I swear I felt a vacuum in my head.

And here are 2 funny experiences with the same bank. This time I was a customer:

*ONE:* I asked how much money I will save if I pay off my car with a lump sum. Not a single person at that branch of the bank could tell me. One guy pulled out a calculator and after punching a few numbers looking confused his face lit up:
- You will save $7,000, Sir!

I said:
- But the remaining ballance is only $1200.

He said:
- Hm, that doesn't sound right...

After a few moments with his calculator he exclaimed:
- Yes! You will save $2,000, Sir!

I thanked him and went to another branch. There after looking at me as if I was crazy I was told that "they" are not trained to calculate such things.

Later someone told me that the banks just don't want you to pay off any debt so I was given the run around. I can understand that but I swear all these people were genuinely caught off-guard by my simple request.

*TWO:* My debit card stops working. I had just deposited $800 because the previous day I had only $3 left in the account. So I head to the bank. What happens there is outright surreal.

Little New Guy opens my account. Looks at it silently for about 30 seconds. And says:
-Yes, it looks like you do not have enough funds. 
I tell him I just deposited $800. He calls the Branch Manager. Of course!

An agitated tall woman walks into the flimsy office. Without any greeting she tells me I do not have enough funds. Before even looking at the screen. I tell her to check and see I deposited $800. What happens next is real, trust me.

She looks at the screen. Points with her finger at the last line and says:
-Here! You had only $3 yesterday!
I tell Little New Guy:
- Please scroll one line down.

Yes... The $800 were one line down. The Branch Manager just said "Ok." and walked away. Little guy said "I guess you do have enough funds. Your card should work..." Now I walked away.

To this day I do not know what happened and why Little Guy and Branch Manager were such bozos. Do you happen to open a topic here on APC, read what pops up first and fits on your screen and never scroll down?

--Nikolay


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## HeyPK (Jan 23, 2004)

These people were all graduated from educational institutions where the standards have been lowered to the point where only sporadic attendance is necessary to pass the courses. This is what you get when the greed-is-good philosophy infects education. What is important to the administration (which, by the way, gets 80% of the budget)? Retention, of course! Retention is everybody's business! If you flunk them, we lose their tuition! We want the lawns and the grades looking nice at our institution! The students, who, I swear have signed an oath administered by some Grover Norquist-like character which says they will never study outside of class, are happy with this: 6 months ago I couldn't even spel Doktor, & now I are one! 


Some of the public schools in this area, in some weird, fleeting moment of reality, have started calling themselves attendance centers. 


I cherish the Dilbert cartoon where the boss doesn't know what to do when his mouse gets to the edge of his mouse pad.


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## DishyFishy (Aug 11, 2011)

heypk said:


> i cherish the dilbert cartoon where the boss doesn't know what to do when his mouse gets to the edge of his mouse pad.


hah!!!


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## fishyjoe24 (May 18, 2010)

the smarts ones don't get the jobs, the old good people get fired, so the companies can bring in young kids train them, then the companies...

speaking of banks and caculators. what about people that can't do basic math with out a caculator. the other day i went out to eat my food total was 16.07 I said i'm giving you a 5 dollar tip, I gave her 30.07 the kid didn't know how much to bring back to me... i shouldn't even say kid the guy looked 21-25.. I said please just bring me back 9 dollars...

what I like about my bank, they will print me out a receit, and print out my bank statements, and I have a app where i can see what my bank account is...


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## HeyPK (Jan 23, 2004)

If he can't figure out the change, he shouldn't get the tip! Tell him to just bring back the change and then leave him a 25 cent tip!


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## niko (Jan 28, 2004)

I work for tips and tips are like a language. Never, ever give anyone $1 tip. That's like saying "This is how little I value you and your work.". Zero is better than $1.

It's amazing how many people have no clue what to tip. An of course certain groups of people are bad news for the guy that works for tips. Overall the tipping has no rational pattern. Close to poor folk often tip best, and the oposite is quite true too. After a while you just stop really trying above certain level - the tips for say a week always average to the same amount - smile or not, calculate 30.07 - 16.07 or not.

Also - most people that work for tips have to do a lot behind the scenes and most people have no idea about any of that. If you intentionally tip low you are doing one thing - teaching that guy that if he ever gets on unemployment he will milk it to the last day he can. 

Bottom line is - if someone works for tips don't put them down even more. I wonder at what point of US history jobs of any kind got placed in a scale from despicable to amazing.

--Nikolay


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## TAB (Feb 7, 2009)

If they didn't earn the tip, I don't leave a tip.

That being said I've left a $100 tip for a $10 meal. I've left zero tip for a $100 meal. It all depends on how I'm treated.


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## singolz (Oct 27, 2011)

niko said:


> I work for tips and tips are like a language. Never, ever give anyone $1 tip. That's like saying "This is how little I value you and your work.". Zero is better than $1.
> 
> It's amazing how many people have no clue what to tip. An of course certain groups of people are bad news for the guy that works for tips. Overall the tipping has no rational pattern. Close to poor folk often tip best, and the oposite is quite true too. After a while you just stop really trying above certain level - the tips for say a week always average to the same amount - smile or not, calculate 30.07 - 16.07 or not.
> 
> ...


I wish more people thought like you, I'd actually be happy to come in and bartend for once.


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## HeyPK (Jan 23, 2004)

I only meant the insulting 25 cent tip for the waiter who couldn't figure out how much change to bring back from dinner plus $5.00 tip. It would be an incentive to learn some arithmetic.


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## niko (Jan 28, 2004)

In a restaurant if you want to change something talk to the manager. Leave a normal tip and also ask to talk to the manager. This works way better than stiffing some little guy. All he will learn is that he hates customers.

It is the manager's responsibility for everybody to do their job at their best. Unfortunatelly in the resaurant business the 3 simple things (Clean place + Good Food + Great Service) are entirely out of the understanding of many managers. This directly reflects on everybody in the restaurant. It's amazing how precisely you can tell which manager is on duty just by walking into the restaurant.

Indeed, the people are everyting in a business. Somehow that is the most forgotten rule of all I guess.

--Nikolay


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## niko (Jan 28, 2004)

Back to "Tales from the Bank":

One day I found myself explaining to a branch manager what is a stop payment on a check. A few little people a the same branch explained to me what are the 2 kinds but somehow the manager needed to be involved.

So, there are 2 kinds:

1. You can ask for a specific check number to be stopped.
If I remember the check number I can stop it by using that number.
You try to cash my check #1234 and it will not work.

2. You can ask to stop the check with a specified amount on it.
This is used in case I don't remember the check number.
You try to cash my check of the amount say "$62.52" it will not work.
Downside: If I don't cancel the "stop payment by amount" any checks of mine that happen to be "$62.52" will bounce back too.

If that was new information to you you are ready to be a major national bank's branch manager!

haha!

--Nikolay


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## TAB (Feb 7, 2009)

I didn't think anyone did number 2 anymore. They always required the check number.


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## niko (Jan 28, 2004)

"Number 2" remains popular among kids!

I think...


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## indy6724 (Nov 27, 2011)

Hey just thowing this out there, I happen to work for a bank currently and did so 8 years ago before I was in the military. If you guys need help or advice please pm me. I work for a company that is customer service oriented and doesn't screw around with there customers. Best idea is if your unhappy with your bank, tell them to eat it and find another until you find one that works for you. Just my 2 cents


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