# What to not do locally. (non-aquarium related)



## niko (Jan 28, 2004)

Neil Sperry's Landscaping School.

http://www.neilsperry.com/schools/home-landscape-school.html

Today we wasted the entire Saturday attending that completely useless "school" that we left with information that fits on about 2 pages. Namely a list of plants that do well in Texas. If we don't count the free lunch consisting of a white bread sandwich and a bag of potato chips the list of plants that do well in Texas was the only thing we got from the $169 per person school. True - we got a discount and we paid only about $219 for two people, a real deal!

Neil wasted our time in the afternoon showing us pretty pictures of corners of different gardens. We got to hear jokes about the mother of his neighbour's friend or somebody like that, how to use a garden hose to outline the boundary of a future flower bed, and how pretty some gardens in Louisiana are. Ah yes - we were also "thought" that you cannot ignore the hardscape in your garden because it's a integral part of the final look, that there are plants that exibit diffferent shade of green colors that could be combined nicely, and other completely idiotic random observations/"advice". Everybody had a sheet of paper stating what Neil will be talking about but he completely ignored the plan. I felt like I was being presented a random selection of pictures from a garden magazine with voice comments. Except that Neil himself had taken the pictures so we got to hear how and when they were taken. Also we saw a picture of a pecan tree that after being taken care by Neil has done great and is in an excellent shape now. It's like 2-1/2' in diameter now! I got really, really excited!

The morning was much more productive. The speaker - Steven George, a person with decades of experience in horticulture - started with about 30 min of back to back jokes. Then he proceeded to many more jokes. All of his jokes were completely fit for a wholesome old-school fun. The only thing one could accuse him of was the mothball-closet aftertaste of his speaking style. Somewhere in the middle of his joke tirades he told us to look at a few sheets of paper that outlined the best plants you can use to plant in your Texas garden. We were told that plants fall in categories like "Sun Loving", "Medium Shade", and "Shade loving". Steve told us that we will not walk out of here without being able to name at least one plant of each category. With that warning the "teacher/student interaction" ended. Then we got to see how Steve drew a couple of plans of imaginary gardens. All done using an overhead projector because "I think that a computer is a tool of the Devil" as he put it (some folk in the audience cheered at that moment). Then we heard about the son of one of Steve's friends that was a quiet boy, now 30, that went to Harvard to study Physics, and now is in Yale studying law. I could not quite grasp what does that quiet young genius had to do with our excellent landscaping class. I guess the level of excellence maybe. I hope he goes to Medical School after he's done with the law degree. We heard about the importance of incorporating your fence in your garden design. About the difficulties of mowing the grass if you have too many trees. And about the many rules that we had to keep in mind when attending an $20 consulation about our own yard which was to be held on some other day, in some distant place, for exactly 30 min, and that we must not be late, "please get in line and sign up at that table over there".

If you ever catch yourself thinking about attending Neil Sperry's Landscaping School please expect only the best, the very best, and think positively, very positively. I mean just do not go. To me the event was a mix of 80% old school notions and 20% intentional confusion tactics that should lead to you paying good money for real advice. By the same people that can't follow their own written plan but told us several times how many decades of experience they have.

The other 200+ people gathered today in a big conference room at the Plano Centre seem to sit quetly listening while being served semi-radnom pieces of information from 9 to 4 for only $169 per person. There was zero "student" involvement, lots of pretty pictures of ivy draped over statues and such, many wholesome jokes, and free coffee (only before noon, and never refilled after it got cold). There was even free cold drinking water from real water coolers and in real plastic cups!

--Nikolay


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## MacFan (Jul 30, 2006)

How was this marketed to you? I'm thinking I could come up with a days worth of B.S. for $20,000+ too...  

Michael


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## ashappard (Jun 3, 2006)

sounds like some IT seminars I've been to.
Mr jokey likes to jerk around and be cool, forgets to say or do anything useful.
Always makes a point to connect with an adequate number of students that seem easily led, so they fill out a positive survey and he gets his quarterly performance bonus.


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## Tex Gal (Nov 1, 2007)

Too bad Niko! I would have only charged you $100 and you could have had a special guided tour around my yard with me telling you what the plant names were and how well they did. I would have fed you a better lunch...

....AND I would have even let you take notes out of my books about TX gardening!


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## northtexasfossilguy (Mar 6, 2009)

Niko if you want to learn about plants join a real plant club. It costs me $15 dollars for about 3 or 4 hours of hiking through nature centers identifying plants, talking about their properties and uses.

Native Plant Society of Texas

Send an email to Karen from this page: http://npsot.org/email/chapters_captcha.php

These are the experts, they can get you in touch with garden centers, we go out seed collecting all the time, its free most of the time or very very cheap. There are yearly dues, it is a state affiliated society as well, so when you travel for conventions and things you can get the "government rates" at hotels.


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