# Non Southernors and non military only: Do you use Yes Ma'am and Yes Sir?



## Piscesgirl (Feb 25, 2004)

Had a big fight with my boss the other day, about the professionalism of using "Sir" and "Ma'am" but particularly "Ma'am." I was born in NY and raised in Southern California. I was never exposed to "Ma'am" until moving to the South, and to me it was offensive and gives me the feeling of being old(although I don't take it offensively when used because I know it is considered polite here). Well, my boss thinks I'm totally wrong and must have had my head in the clouds my whole formative years in California,and that Ma'am is used everywhere (of course, my boss is never wrong). 

Soooo, if you are not Southern or not Military: Where are you and do you use "Sir" and "Ma'am" in addressing people?


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## MiamiAG (Jan 13, 2004)

I'm in Miami. Technically, south of you but certainly not the South. We don't use Ma'am much, that I can tell anyway.


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## Piscesgirl (Feb 25, 2004)

Yayyyyy! Ok, so maybe I'm not absolutely as wrong as my boss thinks!


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## JanS (Apr 14, 2004)

I live almost as far north in the US as you can get, and ma'am isn't in the normal vocabulary here (read almost non-existent unless you're transplanted from the south). It would almost be the same as saying madam, and you know how that sounds..... ;-)

In more professional greetings, you hear Mr. Smith or Ms./Mrs. Smith, or just your name.

Tell your boss to pay up....LOL!


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## New 2 Fish (Dec 31, 2004)

Hmm... I live in PA, but also lived in Savannah. In the south, it is considered very rude if you don't use it. However, I would feel really weird saying it up here.... But, if I went back down south, I would usually say it, especially if the person were elderly or in a position of respect....
How's that for neither here nor there? : )


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## Piscesgirl (Feb 25, 2004)

LOL New2Fish

Yay Jan! He needs to pay up, hehe! But, he'll never admit it no matter how much evidence I might accumulate. This is for my own peace of mind!


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## Phil Edwards (Jan 22, 2004)

I grew up in Seattle and ma'am and sir were indoctrinated into me. Perhaps it's because I've got a Southern mom and a military dad? 

I can recall a number of times in New Hampshire where people looked at me strangely for saying yes ma'am and yes sir. Of course, the older folks loved it. Now that I'm down here in the Wonderful World of Dixie I don't have to worry about it. It's the calling older women "Miss <name>" that took me a little getting used to.


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## Piscesgirl (Feb 25, 2004)

> I've got a Southern mom and a military dad?


LOL you don't count in this then, Phil! 

My boss is wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong wrong!!!! hehe, I'm enjoying this too much


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## SCMurphy (Jan 28, 2004)

I grew up in New England, live in MD now, I only use "Yes Ma'am" or "Sir" sarcastically with an overly thick drawl. Nothing 'professional' about it.


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## C_perugiae (Feb 26, 2004)

I grew up in northern Michigan with the idea that those titles were either sarcastic or the person trying to use them was engaged in some major brown-nosing. When I address people, I usually use "you guys" or something along those lines, unless I'm working, and then I may use "sir" or "miss" if I'm getting the "I need to be respected" vibe.


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## Piscesgirl (Feb 25, 2004)

I feel vindicated!  Actually, it was more I was even beginning to doubt my own memory! It is definitely a regional term of address. 




*Does 'boss is wrong dance'* wooohooooo

:razz: \\/


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## dennis (Mar 1, 2004)

I grw up in Southeastern Ohio, in the foot-hills of the Appalachian Mts. While not technically considered the south, there was very strong southern feeling and sentiment. The accents can be very strong and many of the cultural traits seem to have been carried to the area from the southern states. My parens were from farther north, Cleveland, where the cultural and socio-economic traits were VERY different. I grew up a mix of both worlds, I was not told to use Sir/Ma'am but many of my friends and schoolmates used it frequently. As a result I use it sparadicly but it tends to pop out of my vocabulary occasionally, especially when talking to people in a position of respect or those who are my elders.

Now that I live in Massachussetts I occasionally have to duck, especially when refering to a woman as Ma'am Sir can be taken either way but Ma'am here is considered rude. Makes the namee think they are old when really I mean it only as a sign of respect. Respect for me though must be earned, where I can from, one was only as good as they had proved themselves to be. You almost had to earn the right to be called Sir/Ma'am.


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## Piscesgirl (Feb 25, 2004)

> Makes the namee think they are old when really I mean it only as a sign of respect


That's precisely why I don't feel that it is 'professional' terminology in a world now that is much more diverse, even in the rural town I'm in. If the staff and patients where I work were entirely Southern, that would be one thing -- but they aren't, soooooo anyway, that was my argument.


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## drbdc (Mar 30, 2005)

I'm from St. Louis and if speaking to someone respectfully we use Sir and Ma'am. It's impolite not to. If I yell at my kids for screwing something up, they BETTER say "YES SIR!" I better NOT hear "Sure dude" It shows respect and todays culture is falling apart and forgetting what respect is all about. They sure know how to show thier a$% out of the top of thier pants though.


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## drbdc (Mar 30, 2005)

I'll also add I would feel like a sh%^ head low life if I didn't use it to someone older by say 10 years. I don't on an equal age or lower. Although if someone younger does something i.e. mow my lawn, when I pay him I may say "Thank you Sir" and I expect to hear "No,,, thank YOU Sir."

Another thing that is becoming trendy in the country is the use of Ms. for all women. That is insulting to married women. That should be reserved for divorced women. If they are married it is Mrs.


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